Frayed Edges Remade
by Watanabe Kin
Summary: Roach had always had feelings for Ghost. He never told anyone though, he was afraid. The last guy that even hinted he liked Ghost and left the next day, never returning. Roach would rather be friends than nothing. Besides, Ghost could never return those feelings or like him in any way other than friends. New version! Old version found on other account - details inside.
1. Chapter 1

Frayed Edges

- Roach had always had feelings for Ghost. He never told anyone though, he was afraid. The last guy that even hinted he liked Ghost and left the next day, never returning. Roach would rather be friends than nothing. Besides, Ghost could never return those feelings or like him in any way other than friends.

A/N: I've read so many good Ghost x Roach stories I wanted to make one of my own. Enjoy!

*Disclaimer* I don't own the Modern Warfare series or the characters. No copyright infringement intended.

I fancied reading through this story and was surprised to see how many spelling mistakes there were so I decided to rewrite it and add some filler to improve it. Hopefully it won't take long to go through and rewrite so it should all be uploaded soon I hope :)

The original version of this story can be found on my other account 'Bleach Fox' here is the link:

s/7779686/1/Frayed-Edges

Chapter 1:

I was sat in the rec room when Ghost walked in. I knew immediately it was him by how the room fell silent, as it always did, after all, Ghost did have a reputation to uphold. Glancing up, I saw him making his way over to sit with Soap, the room returning to its normal pitch of noise.

Poet nudged me to gain my attention. "Roach, c'mon we're going out for a beer. You coming or what?"

I smiled. "Yeah, can't say no to a beer." Standing up, I stretched and felt my joints pop back into place. Sitting down for too long always cramped my muscles, I didn't mind, I was more of an active person anyway.

As we went to leave, I noticed Ghost looking in our direction and feeling my gaze, he directed his attention to me. I smiled, dropping my head after a moment as to appear casual, this definitely wasn't the time to stare.

I frowned in thought, Ghost didn't usually pay that much attention to what was going on, then again, he probably did but never showed any interest. I wondered why he decided to today. Following Poet, Royce, Meat and Ozone outside onto the patio, I glanced at the cloudless sky in amazement, it hasn't rain in days which was an unusual change.

"Yo Roach!"

I glance to the side to see Royce holding a beer which he threw when gaining my attention and I reached out a hand to catch it. Just before I could, another hand shot out and claimed my drink.

"Hey!" I turned, scowl set firmly in place to identify the robber which turned out to be our one and only captain who was now chuckling at my expression. Casting a glance to the side I noted Ghost grabbing a beer from the cooler Meat brought out and stiffened, being in close proximity to the man and adding alcohol was not a good plan.

"What? Can't I steal a beer from you now and again?" Soap asked, raising an eyebrow and gaining my attention again.

"Uh, sure thing sir."

He frowned and admonished a finger at me. "Hey, none of that sir shit. We're off duty remember?"

Rolling my eyes, I felt a small smirk pull at the corner of my mouth. "Sure thing Soap."

"Better." Nodding in satisfaction, Soap went to join the others in conversation.

I sighed, _guess I'm going to have to get my own beer then_. Turning to get one, I jumped upon finding Ghost behind me, holding one out in offering.

"Here you go mate, you're probably going to need one." He chuckled at something, probably the imaginative big ass question mark currently over my head. "Soap wants to talk to you." He jerked his thumb at the Scotsman who was currently arguing with Royce about something.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with scotch." I heard him say when I turned my attention to them.

Royce pulled a face of distaste. "It's bloody awful man."

"It's a whole lot better than lager."

Royce began his retort, but I turned my attention back to the conversation at hand. Seeing Ghost looking at me with his head cocked to the side slightly, I scowled, instantly becoming defensive. "What?"

He shook his head. "Nothing man." Clapping my shoulder, I saw him wink behind his sunglasses. "Good luck with Soap later." With that he left, leaving behind a warm imprint on my shoulder which went straight to my chest, making my heart beat erratically.

_Get a hold of yourself Gary! It doesn't mean anything, just friendly contact. _

Mentally shaking myself, I joined the others. For the next few hours we enjoyed the day and the cool beers to soothe the almost scorching heat. When dusk fell and the light started fading, we decided to call it a night. Walking inside, I was stopped when Soap grabbed my arm and suddenly remembered what Ghost had warned me about.

_Great, here comes this chat, can't wait for this. What have I done now?_

Mentally sighing, I waited until Soap spoke. "You ok Roach?"

I my eyebrows rose in surprise, it wasn't like Soap to care. I mean, yeah he did, but not on an external level, at least I didn't think so until now. "Yeah, why?" I asked suspiciously.

"I noticed you looking at Ghost earlier." He said it so bluntly I was inclined to believe he wanted to talk about this for a while now.

Thankfully it was dark so he couldn't see the blush on my cheeks at the embarrassment of being caught, by my captain of all people. "So? I saw him glance up." I shrugged, attempting to play nonchalant but was pretty sure Soap saw through it instantly.

"Is there something you'd like to talk about?"

I stiffened in both surprise and shock. _Shit, he definitely knows. Am I really that obvious? Great, if he knows, that probably means Ghost does too. I'll be lucky to survive the night!_ I sighed in defeat. "You know don't you." I muttered and it was a question, Soap taking note and nodding.

"Yes."

"Does Ghost know? Are you going to tell him?" I blurted out worriedly. I refused to let these stupid emotions ruin my life here.

Soap looked taken aback at the outburst. "No, of course not. I just wanted to know if it would affect your work. You're part of a team and I need to know you're capable."

I laughed in relief, smiling despite the grim outlook of this conversation. "Soap, it's never affected my work. The job comes first, emotions second, always."

"Good." Soap paused and frowned in thought, looking at me strangely. "Wait a moment, what do you mean never?"

I gulped, mentally smacking myself for putting my foot in it, again. I needed to learn to think before I spoke. This wasn't the first time and probably not the last by a long shot. "Well... You see..." I waved my hand in a circular motion, unable to find something to say.

"How long Roach?"

"Couple of months after I joined the task force." I mumbled, getting quieter with each word.

Soap sighed heavily and rubbed his face tiredly. "Well, you've done a good job of hiding it so far. I've only just started noticing and Ghost doesn't have a clue, strange for him since he's usually so intuitive."

"Why?" I asked curiously. "What would happen if he did know?" I held up my hands quickly when he shot me a warning look. "I'm not going to tell him! I'm not that stupid! Just curious as to what happened to the other guy."

"We'll, let's just say... Ghost didn't take it too kindly and the guy left after a few choice words from him, haven't heard from him since."

I gulped in fear. "Note to self, don't ever tell Ghost." I whispered, making Soap chuckle and pat my shoulder reassuringly.

"See you tomorrow Roach."

I watched as he walked away, his figure quickly swallowed by the settling darkness before turning and heading to my room for a hopefully good night's sleep. Which I wouldn't be getting in a while since I had so much new information to process. I sighed and traipsed off towards my room.

"Tonight's going to be a long night..."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

A few days had passed since mine and Soap's 'chat', and thankfully, Ghost was still acting normal. Soap kept his word, as he always does, but I couldn't help but worry. Today we _finally_ had a mission, after two weeks of nothing, everyone was pumped up and ready to go. Unfortunately for us, we had to sit through a two hour long briefing as Soap droned on about advantage points and other shit I wasn't inclined to listen to.

Bored out of my mind, I began doodling on my papers since there wasn't anything better to do. After another half hour of mindless doodling I was sure my brain was dying of boredom. I jumped when someone grabbed my papers suddenly.

"Hey!"

I whispered the word furiously, turning to look at who the hand belonged to and found their face covered by a familiar skull balaclava. Ghost winked and held a finger to the masks teeth before bending down to draw over my crappy doodles. I watched with a mixture of awe and fascination as he turned my random scribbles into works of art. Ghost really had a way with pencil and paper apparently, something I never expected of him.

The next thing I knew the meeting was over and I was surprised I'd been so absorbed watching Ghost draw. He handed me back the paper and stood up, following everyone else out of the briefing room and I stood to follow them to the armoury to ready up.

Glancing at the paper, I noted typical things of Ghost, guns, equipment, etc... but some of the larger drawing were dark and twisted, making me gulp slightly. I pocketed the paper with the intention to ask Ghost later about it as I walked into the armoury.

Picking up my usual gun, the M4A1, I moved to grab a silencer and holographic sight, attaching them quickly and with practiced ease before grabbing a PP2000 and four flash bangs with grenades. I frowned as I slipped them on my belt and felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up in the uncomfortable feeling that I was being watched. Turning around, I saw nothing unusual and shrugged the feeling off.

Once everyone was sorted, we headed for Nikolai's plane where Price would meet us. The man rarely stayed on base, secretly I thought he could stand the madness. Sitting down in the plane, I made myself comfortable and close my eyes, resting my head on the wall as the plane took off. About an hour later we were hit.

"RPG!" Nikolai shouted, attempting to swerve the plane but couldn't turn it enough. I stood up in an attempt to help but ended up falling on my butt instead as it impacted with the plane.

Someone grabbed my arm and hauled me to my feet before shoving a parachute into my arms. "Go Roach!" Ghost shouted, shoving me towards the exit.

I turned around to thank him, but frowned instead when I could see his own parachute. "Where's your 'chute?!" I yelled over the wind blast in from the cockpit opening.

"There isn't another one, go already!"

"Not without you!" There was no way in hell I was abandoning him here on a suicide run.

"Roach you stupid bastard! Save yourself, please!"

I was stunned into silence for a moment. I'd never head Ghost plea before, he must really be desperate to get me going so I turned to leave, securing the parachute on my back as I did.

"See you down there!" I yelled before jumping.

About 1000 feet from the ground, I pulled the parachute out and gently drifted to the ground. The moment my feet touched the ground I ripped the package off and pulled out my binoculars out to watch the plane. I stiffened when I could see the blurry figure of Ghost still on the plane and turned my earpiece on.

"Ghost?"

"What Roach?" The line was static and I could barely make out what he was saying.

"Please don't die you stupid bastard."

He chuckled. "I won't. Trust me, I have a plan." I watched in horror as he jumped and shot to my feet.

"Ghost you idiot! You won't survive that!" I yelled down the comms in panic, running a hand through my hair in worry when the line went dead. "Ghost?!"

"Roach!" Soap's voice rang behind me and he came crashing through the treeline, obviously attracted by my shouting. Guess I was lucky it was him and not the enemy. I turned around and looked at him worriedly.

"Soap! Ghost, he jumped!" I waved at the crashing plane frantically, sighing when Soap just frowned in confusion.

"So? He has a 'chute."

I almost rolled my eyes at him, almost. After all, he was still my captain. "That's the thing, he doesn't."

"What?"

"He gave me the last one and forced me to jump. Basically shoved me out of the damn plane." I felt my eyes tearing up and rubbed them quickly, I'm not going to cry. Instead I sighed heavily an shook my head before looking at the ground. "He's dead isn't he?" I whispered brokenly. "He's not coming back."

Soap sighed and strode over to me, slapping my shoulder in a comforting gesture. "You don't know that."

"He jumped from almost a 1000 foot drop!"

"Hey." He said the word sternly, making me lift my head to look at him. "Roach, they don't call him Ghost for nothing."

I chuckled and rubbed at my face once more before pulling myself together. No use in breaking down like this in enemy territory, might as well kill myself as the end result would be the same.

"You think so?"

"Positive. Ghost's done stupider stunts than that before and only gotten a scratch." Soap stepped away and folded his arms, fixing me with a hard look as he became my captain once again. "Now then, have we got a mission to complete or what?"

I nodded and grabbed my gun from hanging at my waist. "Yes sir!"

He chuckled and nodded in satisfaction before turning and heading back through the trees. "Good, now come on, the others are this way." I sighed and hurried to follow after him as not to be left behind, it happened once and I don't plan on reliving that experience.

_Please be safe Ghost, please. _

Once we met up with the group, a new plan was put together. Forming plans from scratch with limited supplies and being in the midst of enemy territory was something both Price and Soap did best.

So ten minutes later, Team Alpha (AKA me, Price and Soap) were heading for the target building. Team Bravo (AKA Royce, Meat and Ozone) scouted ahead to take up defensive positions whilst Team Charlie (AKA Scarecrow, Poet, Toad and Archer) took up sniping positions around the target building to provide cover support. Whilst we completed the mission, Team Delta (AKA Nikolai) was to find a age clearing and set up a transponder beacon for our rise out of here.

As we approached the target building, we went probe to avoid being discovered. "Team Bravo all clear?" Soap aske down the comms, ready for a sitrep.

"Clear sir, no Tango's in sight."

"Team Charlie?"

"Ready sir, snipers in position and waiting for you go."

"Delta?"

"Beacon activated and ETA in an hour. Good luck."

"Ok teams hold position and keep an eye out for Ghost as well as the Tango's. He's gone on another suicide run."

There was a chuckling down the line from Poet. "Can do sir."

"Ok teams, Alpha's going dark. We'll radio in when completed." Soap nodded so Price indicated at us to switch the comms to a set frequency which only we could hear and we headed into the target building.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

"Check those corners!"

Price whispered the words as we swept through the hallway and Soap rolled his eyes at me so I stuck my tongue out in response. That was Price's favourite line, he said it on almost every mission. Ghost used to count under his breath how many times he could say it. Feeling my heart throb painfully at the thought, I quickly focused on the task ahead.

As we made our way downstairs, something peculiar began to happen, we passed by a body and soon, we found several littering the floor. The strangest part was, they were all Tango's.

"What the hell?" Price said as he lowered his gun and looked around with a frown. "What happened here?"

"Looks like someone beat us to it." Soap murmured in reply, crouching down to pick up a shell casing and examined it. "ACR." He frowned and looked at me. "Ghost had an ACR didn't he?"

I nodded in affirmation and Price gave me a strange look. "Yeah, I guess. After all, he always uses it so it must be his favourite gun."

He nodded and I mentally sighed in relief as he moved forward with his gun ready in case of an ambush. I watched our six as we headed down into the basement. Halfway down the stairs I heard a noise from above us and stopped.

"Guys I heard a noise from upstairs, going to go check it out."

"Alright mate, watch your six." Soap took up my position behind Price as I headed for the kitchen alone, where I thought the sound originated from. I stood at the edge of the room before quickly spinning around to face the fridge with my gun out. The fridge door swung on its hinges and I frowned, I was so sure someone was there only I second ago, I mean the door was still swinging.

"You're getting slow bug."

The familiar voice had me whirling around in shock to see it was definitely Ghost. There he was, stood there without a care in the world, eating a damn sandwich. I couldn't help but smile at the absurdity of it.

"What, no hug?" He asked around a mouthful, his mask pushed up enough to expose his lower jaw and mouth. I could see from where I was stood, he had stubble and was in need of a shave.

I grabbed him roughly and hung in tightly for a few seconds before letting go and stepping back, clearing my throat. "Uhh... It's good to see you survived." I said and rubbed the back of my neck whilst attempting to hide my blush.

"Yeah well, it'll take more than a crashing plane and no 'chute to kill me."

I laughed and punched his shoulder gently before sighing and turning around. "Soap you were right, Ghost's here and he's eating a damn sandwich."

"What?" Soap's voice rang through, the static cutting into his voice slight, obviously the basement didn't have a good signal. "Put him on would you?"

I unhooked the com and gave it to Ghost who plugged it into his headphones. "Alright Soap?" I could hear Soap saying something and the bursts of static and Ghost laughed. "Yeah well, you jump from a crashing plane going over 100 miles an hour, at around 1000 feet might I add. Then end up in a lake, drag your ass here, kill a few dozen Tango's and tell me you're not hungry." I snorted, causing Ghost to turn and look at me so I stuck my tongue out and he replied by giving me the finger. "Yeah, see you in five." He sighed and put the plate down before pulling his mask back into place and looked at me. "C'mon bug, we're being hailed so get your ass downstairs."

I frowned when remembering something that had been bugging me, but had slipped from my mind when seeing him again. "Hey Ghost?"

"Yeah?"

"Why'd you give me the last 'chute?"

Ghost sighed and walked over to me, stopping just a few inches away, instantly scrambling my train of thoughts. "I couldn't let you die." He murmured softly, almost hesitantly.

"What?" _This doesn't make any sense_. The fact that we were so close wasn't helping either. I couldn't think straight, let alone figure out what the hell Ghost was talking about.

He stepped back suddenly and I exhaled, the tension making my muscles rigid left and I relaxed. "C'mon, Price and Soap will be wondering where we are."

With that he turned sharply and headed towards the basement, leaving me to watch him go with a puzzled look. I sighed before grabbing my gun and following after him. In the basement Price was busy collecting Intel whilst Soap had switched back to the normal com frequency and was talking to the team.

"Alright team the place is clear, Ghost beat us to it."

"Whoo! Go Ghost!" I heard someone yell faintly since Ghost still had my com, I assumed it was Royce.

"Anyway, is it all clear out there?" Soap continued after the little outburst.

"Yes sir, no Tango's around."

"Good. Head to Delta for the EZ and we'll meet you there in ten."

"Can do sir."

Soap sighed and dropped his hand from his com, signalling to me the conversation was finished. Ghost clapped his hands together and stepped towards Price to look at the papers curiously. "So where's the party at?"

Soap joined them around the table and sighed after a few minutes. "Dunno mate, but this is a lot of Intel. Gunna have to take it all with us if we want to figure it out. Can't stay here all day."

Five minutes later after collecting all the Intel and papers, we left and blew the building up once we'd reached a safe distance. "No-one can know we were there." Was Price's reasoning for the action. We headed for the EZ and thankfully made it with a minute to spare.

"The extraction team will be here in minutes my friends!" Nikolai shouted over everyone rushing to meet Ghost will yells of congratulations. The plane arrived and we all piled on. I made my way to the end of the bench where it was relatively quiet and sat down. As my eyes began closing, I felt someone sit next to me and sighed, forcing them open.

"Fuck off I'm tired." I moaned, not looking to see who it was which was my own stupid mistake.

"That's no way to talk to your CO." My head snapped to the side and I could see Soap grinning at me. How leant forward and lowered his voice so we weren't overheard. "You alright?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked suspiciously and frowned at him.

"Why happened with you two upstairs."

I jerked slight in shocked and started panicking. "What do you mean?"

"Calm down mate." He held his hands up and I sighed deeply before exhaling slowly and nodded so he continued. "I just meant your mind seems to be somewhere else and Ghost looks like he's done something he shouldn't have."

I laughed in relief and ran a hand through my hair. "Nah, he didn't do anything. He just said something which confused me."

Soap gave me a puzzled look and I sighed, opening my mouth to explain but he held up his hand again and shook his head. "Save it mate, I don't want to know." And with that he stood up and left, walking over to Price.

I was just closing my eyes again when someone new sat down next to me. I assumed it was Soap again and his curiosity had gotten the better of him. "What does it take to get some peace around here Soap? I thought you didn't want to know."

"You're right, I don't." I jumped about a mile in the air as Ghost began laughing at my reaction.

"Bloody wanker." I muttered and settled back down as Ghost's laughter died down, eventually.

As I looked at him waiting to speak and explain why the hell I wasn't being left alone, I noticed he was nervous. I looked away to give him a moment. "Hey, Roach?"

"Hmm, yeah?"

"What's with you and Soap?" I looked back to see Ghost fiddling with his glove, not looking at me. Clearly something was bothering him.

"What do you mean?" I was curious now, Ghost was acting strange and it apparently had something to do with me and Soap. Whatever it was, I hope he hasn't figured out the truth.

"Well..." Ghost trailed off, seemingly unable to finish his sentence and I sighed, yep he definitely knew.

"You can say it you know, I'm not going to get mad." He'd finally figured it out, bye bye TF141.

"Good. Well, you see..." He trailed off again so I waited patiently. "Are you and Soap together?" He finally blurted out.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

My mouth opened in surprise and I gaped at him for several moments, unable to form a response. Ghost read my reaction wrong and started blundering on again. "'Cuz it's cool if you are, it's just..." He shut his mouth abruptly, worried he'd said something again like before in the house.

I chose that moment to start laughing, I mean not normal laughing but full blown out hysterics. This caused the team to look in our direction curiously and Ghost seemed flustered by it, if that was even possible, making me laugh harder.

"Roach mate, calm the fuck down!" Ghost hissed the words at me and realising he was deadly serious, I pulled myself together and shut up quickly. Thankfully, the team weren't that curious and returned to what they were previously doing, giving us some relative privacy. Ghost sighed. "I knew it." He murmured softly.

"Why would you care?"

"Huh?" His head shot up and he looked at me in confusion at the question.

"Why would you care if me and Soap were together?"

Ghost began fiddling with his gloved again. _Something's wrong, something I've said or done is making him act this way. Why the hell would he think me and Soap were together? I've never seen him so nervous._ I could see the sweat beading on his forehead behind his mask and to tell you the truth, it unnerved me to see Ghost look so uncollected like this.

"Look, me and Soap are definitely not together and never will be." He looked at me again and from what I could tell, he looked relieved.

"Really?"

"Yeah, Soap's definitely not my type." _I should know_. "What made you think that anyway?"

"Oh umm... It began with, you know, when Soap wanted to have a chat with you." I started feeling nervous again, I was skating on thin ice here and there was Ghost with a big ass pick axe ready to break it. "I don't know what he wanted but it made me wonder." He relaxed slightly and looked at me so I nodded for him to continue. "I've been noticing Soap looking at you more often than usual and you've been nervous around us whenever me and Soap are together.

_Wow. You were so close to figuring out the truth, I'm glad you chose the other option. Maybe he just doesn't want to believe it's possible for me to like him. _

Not noticing me gulp, he continued. "And then just now you two looked pretty close, I just don't see another explanation." He finished and looked at me, expecting some sort of answer.

I stare blankly back until I remembered I was supposed to be speaking and cleared my throat. "Mate, you seriously need to re-evaluate your skills. No way would I ever go with Soap." As he visible relaxed, I frowned in confusion, none of this made any damn sense to me, it was way too confusing.

Ghost laughed an stood up. "Good to know."

As he turned to leave, I thought of one possible solution that made perfect sense to me. "Wait Ghost?"

He turned to look at me, pausing from walking away. "Yeah?"

"Do you like Soap?"

This time it was his turn to look at me in confusion, unresponsively and I could practically see his mouth open in suspense and felt my heart sink. _No wonders he's acting weird, he likes Soap_. The words 'he likes Soap' echoed in my mind until Ghost spoke, snapping me out of my depressive thoughts and back into the shitty reality.

"No, I definitely don't. There's... Someone else for me."

My heart lodged itself in my throat and I couldn't speak. Before I could compose myself Ghost turned and left, practically running to the other end of the plane, leaving me to watch him go. Frowning in confusion, I leant back and ran a hand through my hair, sighing heavily as I mused on what had just happened.

_What did he mean? There's someone else for him? He's not dating anyone, I know that much. He couldn't possibly mean... No he couldn't, could he?_

I squashed the thought immediately, I wasn't going down that road. Seeing signs that weren't there would only result in trouble, for me. I liked my job here, I wasn't about to give it up over these stupid emotions.

The plane landed and Ghost bolted through the still opening doors and I could see he was quickly walking back to base. Soap came up and stood behind me, making me jump a mile in the air when he spoke. "What the bloody hell was that about?"

I shrugged. "Dunno man. He thought me and you were together for some reason."

"As in, together together?"

I rolled my eyes and turned to face him. "Yeah."

"Why the hell would he think that? Is that why you were laughing about?" I nodded in affirmation and he continued as we started walking back to base. "Then why'd he run from you like some sort of crazy shit bat?"

This time I shrugged as I had no more idea than Soap. "Dunno, I asked if he liked you and he said no, saying there was someone else for him. After that he got weird and ran off before I could get another word in." At this point we'd reached the armoury and started to unload out equipment before heading to the briefing room with the Intel.

"Hmm, strange."

"What is?"

Soap just shook his head as we entered and saw Ghost sat with Price going over the Intel they had. Soap lent forward so they couldn't overhear. "We'll talk about it later."

I nodded and we headed over to the table and got stuck in decoding the mountain of papers we'd collected. Every now and then, I got the feeling someone was watching me but whenever I looked up, everyone seemed too busy to be interested in me. Puzzled, I ignored the feeling for a few hours before it became too much.

"I'm sorry guys, but this is going nowhere and it's been a long day. Can we call it quits?"

Price nodded and stood up to stretch. "Roach's right guys, this is going nowhere, we can continue tomorrow."

We all headed for the door but me and Ghost got there first. When he saw how close we were he jumped back away from me. I looked at him with a puzzled expression but he wouldn't even acknowledge me. I turned, hurt by the sudden dismissal and opened the door to leave. I walked down the corridor and when everyone had gone their desperate ways, went outside for a smoke.

I quit smoking years ago, but still on the odd occasion had one, usually when I was extremely stressed. Which was to be expected in this line of work. I'm not proud of the lapses, but I just couldn't help it. Soap came out and joined me after about ten minutes.

"Hey Roach, got a spare?"

"Here." I handed him the cigarette and lighter absentmindedly and he sat down next to me to light it. After a few minutes of silence, he spoke up.

"Roach?"

"Why is Ghost avoiding me?" I cut him off and looked at him pleadingly for answers. He sighed and took a long draught of his cigarette before handing my lighter back and shrugging.

"Roach, there's things about Ghost no-one knows, not even me. He's a man of mystery and I've never seen him so ruffled before." He looked at me and smiled wryly. "Basically, I have no fucking clue."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

"You're not very helpful." I grumbled to Soap and sighed, making him laugh.

"Roach, have you ever seen Ghost without his mask on?"

I looked at him in surprise and raised an eyebrow. "No, never. I haven't even seen his eyes before."

"They're green." I looked at Soap in astonishment.

"You've seen him without his mask on?" I asked in surprise, I mean the guy sleeps with it on. How anyone saw him without it was a miracle.

"No. I've seen him without his shades on, that's all." He sighed and stubbed out the end of his cigarette. "Ghost doesn't trust anyone, not completely. There's only one time I know of when he's taken it off, in front of someone who used to be part of the TF."

"Who?" I asked, too absorbed in Soap's words to notice I was leaning forward eagerly.

"The dude who like him." Soap flicked the butt of his cigarette away, mine laying forgotten in my fingers. "He took it off and the guy ran for the hills, that's why he left." He turned to look me in the eyes seriously. "If he found out about you and your feelings, you'd probably get the same treatment. Whatever's under that mask isn't pretty."

"I wouldn't mind." He gave me a sceptical look and I blushed. "What? I wouldn't, seriously. I don't like him for his looks. Sure from what I can tell he's in great shape." I stopped with a look from Soap and cleared my throat. "Anyway... I like him for him. The words he uses, how he phrases them, his attitude. How easy it is to be around him." I sighed and shook my head. "Until recently that is."

Soap's eyes widened in surprise, he was the first person I'd opened up to about my feelings. I trusted him completely. "You really like him huh?" He asked quietly and I nodded, flinching slightly when he put a hand on my shoulder before slowly relaxing. "Roach, I wish there was something I could do to help, but there isn't. To get through to Ghost and figure out what is problem is, you have to talk to him honestly." He paused and amended his statement when I gave him a dry look. "We'll as honest as you can get without telling him the truth. You're a valuable asset to the team and I don't want you to become plagued with nightmares and other sorts from Ghost. I still keep in contact with the other guy, his codename was 'Beat', he still hasn't recovered and I don't want that for you."

"Careful Soap, I might actually start thinking you care about me." He snorted in reply so I rolled my eyes. Remembering the drawings, I pulled the crumple paper from my pocket and handed it to Soap who raised an eyebrow in question. "Sorry I got bored in briefing and was doodling. Ghost grabbed it and drew those."

Indicating at the paper, Soap smoothed it out to get a better look. "I've never seen drawings like these ones. These are probably the closest thing we've got to an insight of Ghost's mind."

"And that means?"

He sighed and looked at me. "It means you're the person who Ghost trusts the most out of all us, even me."

"So?"

"So whatever's wrong with him, you're the one who's gotta help him out."

I groaned loudly, hanging my head. "Great."

Soap leaned forward and bumped his shoulder with mine gently. "What? I thought you'd be pleased. A chance to see the real Ghost, under the mask."

I smiled at that. It was a nice thought, to think Ghost trusted me enough to open up to me. But that's all it was, a thought. It would never become a reality, I knew that for sure. "It's not that, it's just..." I sighed and shook my head, quickly stumping out my cigarette when feeling the warmth creep to close to my fingers. "I don't know if I can keep my feeling a secret if he did open up to me."

Soap contemplated that for a few moments. For our Captain he sure as hell put up with a lot of shit just to make sure the team worked. I don't know why he bothered, I've been doing this for years, and nothing's changed or ever will. "Roach how long have you kept this a secret?" He finally asked and I looked at him questioningly before responding.

"Over two years now I guess."

"Exactly." Soap nodded and smiled. "And in two years Ghost hasn't figured it out. He's the best at decoding facial expressions and actions. If he hasn't by now, you're very good at hiding it or he's losing his edge. I hope for the first because I need his skills."

I snorted and glanced down at my watch, surprised to find we'd been sat outside for just over an hour. I stood up and groaned, my body finally showing the extent of today's activities. "Well it can wait, I'm tired, you probably are and my beds calling. See you tomorrow Soap."

"Just think about what I said yeah."

"Will do. After all, Captain knows best." I smirked when he snorted before leaving him sat outside and traipsed inside towards my room tiredly. Opening the door I closed it slowly and fell fully clothed onto the bed. Rolling over I looked out at the clear night sky and sighed.

_Get Ghost to open up to me huh? How bad could that be? Well he could kill me if he thinks I'm interrogating him for information, wouldn't put it past him. He could tell me everything, unlikely though. Yup I'm so dead, can't wait. _

I groaned and buried my head under the pillow. "Why do I have to like him?" I asked no-one in particular, not surprised when I received no answer. I snorted, this was ridiculous, talking to myself. Groaning again in frustration I slammed the pillow over my face. "You're going to love a good life at this rate Gary. If you survive Ghost's onslaught." I muttered sarcastically before curling up and falling asleep quickly.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

It had been a few days since my chat with Soap and I was yet to even talk to Ghost. Soap kept hinting at me whenever the two of us were together and every time I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out childishly. I couldn't just outright talk to Ghost, it was a delicate process and I wanted to survive it. Soaps usual reaction was to face palm and walk away shaking his head.

There was also another problem, every time me and Ghost were in the same room together, he ran out before I could even open my mouth. Not to mention my nerves, I didn't even know where to begin. The only time he tolerated my presence was in the briefing room and we tried to decode the Intel. Even then he was the last there and first to leave.

After a week of decoding the Intel, we finally cracked it. "Yes, thank god!" I exclaimed, jumping up from my chair to dance on the desk. So yeah, I was excited, I mean it took us over a week to decode that crap. This deserved some sort of just celebration, even if it was my crappy dancing.

Price leaned back in his seat and shook his head in amusement as Soap joined me on the table. After a few minutes Soap yanked Price up and he did some sort of awkward shuffle which made me laugh so hard I fell back into my seat. Looking up, I spotted Ghost sat down still and went over to him.

"C'mon Ghost, we finally did it. You need to celebrate, even Price is dancing… sort of?" I reached out to grab his arm but as my fingers brushed his arm he jerked back with a hiss. I looked at him in surprise, knowing the hurt was showing in my expression but I just couldn't hide it this time.

Ghost sighed heavily and sat back down, resting his head in his hands. "I'm sorry Roach." He murmured, shaking his head.

Seeing Ghost in this state made my heart pull and I sat down next to him, now was as good as time as any to try and talk to him. He stood up abruptly, causing his chair to crash to the floor and Soap and Price both stopped and turned to look at his both in confusion. Ghost glanced between us all and I could feel the panic rising in him, something I wasn't used to with him. He was a calm and collected person most of the time, seeing him like this was unnerving.

Suddenly he bolted from the room and I stared at the open doorway after him, my eyebrows raising in surprise. Since when did Ghost _run _from anything? _What the hell is going on? _

"What the bloody hell?!" Price asked and Soap looked at me meaningfully and I sighed, slumping in my seat.

"Whatever, just tell him." I muttered. _It can't get any worse than it is anyway. _

"Tell me what?" Price asked, looking between us with a confused frown. That was rare, he never missed anything. He fixed Soap with a stare. "Soap?"

Soap smiled nervously under the gaze, he may be our captain but Price was always going to be his. "You might want to sit down first." Price rose an eyebrow, but did as suggested and sat across from me, Soap sitting next to him. "You see… Roach… he…"

"Roach what?" He asked when Soap paused and the man blanked, his eyes flitting to me again.

"Roach likes Ghost." I finished bluntly, looking at the table as it become the most interesting thing in the room.

"What?!" Price exclaimed, jumping up with a shocked expression, looking between the two of us quickly. "Just… what?!"

"Price sit down before someone hears you!" Soap hissed, pinching his nose and sighed heavily as the man sat down again and looked at Soap suspiciously.

"You knew."

Soap nodded and glanced at me before shrugging. "Yes I did. It's not been affecting them or the team so I didn't see a problem."

"And now?"

He sighed heavily and lent back, pulling a thoughtful face. "I don't know, Ghost is acting strange. Doesn't mean it has to do with Roach. It could be anything, you never know with him."

I looked up finally and joined the conversation. "On the way back from the mission ghost asked if me and Soap were together." Price looked between us for a moment before bursting out laughing. "Hey!" I shouted, forgetting momentarily they were my superiors as my emotions got the better of me.

Opening my mouth to say something I would probably regret, I was silenced by a look from Soap. "Anyway," he continued, "Roach told him no and asked if Ghost liked me. He said no and freaked out apparently, been this way ever since."

"Right then." Price stroked his moustache thoughtfully as he tried to think of a solution. Me and Soap waited patiently as he thought and eventually he cleared his throat. "Well, I have no idea."

"Well that's just fucking great!" I burst out, getting to my feet. "Ghost's gone AWOL and no-one knows why so we can't do anything about it! How is the team supposed to work if the lieutenant is going off the rails?!"

I whirled around and left the room, storming outside to get some fresh air. Outside I sighed deeply and calmed down, sitting on the grass with a huff. It was stupid to lose my cool like that, Soap and Price will definitely have something to say about it. With a groan I laid down and stared at the sky, right now I just didn't give a fuck. Closing my eyes I fell asleep almost instantly.

"Roach…" I frowned as a familiar voice called my name and rolled over, mumbling something unintelligible. The person shook my shoulder, making me frown. "Roach?"

"Five more minutes…" I sighed out. Hearing a chuckle that sounded so familiar, I grew more conscious and slowly cracked my eyes open to see a blurry figure sat next to me.

"C'mon Roach, get up before you catch a bloody cold!" My eyes opened fully at the distinct cockney accent and I looked at Ghost who was leaning close to my face. "Why hello sleeping beauty, thought you were going to need a kiss if you didn't wake up."

I rolled my eyes and shoved him away to sit up. Like hell he'd kiss me, I knew he was joking. I looked at him again to see he was looking back and we just sat silently for about five minutes. I broke the eye contact with a sigh and looked down at my knees.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" I asked quietly, unsure if he would tell me or just leave again.

Ghost sighed, why was everyone doing that lately? He leaned forward to look at me again. "Roach." He murmured softly and my eyes widened, I'd never heard him speak so… vulnerably before. He took a deep breath before pulling his sunglasses off.

My eyes widened in surprise, the day was still light enough that when he looked at me I could see there were indeed green, but what Soap forgot to mention was they also had little amber flecks in them. I felt myself getting drawn into the swirl of emotions I was being shown, not realising I was staring or leaning forward until Ghost pulled back slightly. I sat up quickly and looked away slightly flustered, how could I be so drawn in just by his eyes?

"I can't tell you why." He said brokenly and it took me a moment to realise he was answering my previous question.

"Why not?"

He chuckled at that and looked over the grounds. "Because I'm afraid."

If I wasn't confused before, I sure was now. Ghost, afraid? The concept just seemed so ridiculous I barely believed the words form the man's own mouth. Ghost wasn't afraid of anything. "Of what?" I asked softly, leaning closer to him again, but didn't reach out to touch him in case it set him off again.

"Roach we've known each other a long time right?"

"Well two years, I suppose so in this kind of work, why?"

"It's time I told you the truth, about everything." He didn't look at me, he just talked and I sat listening quietly, absorbing the information. He did tell me everything, about Roba, how he was brainwashed and tortured, how he almost lost his mind. He told me about his friends actually losing theirs and killing his family and every other detail in between and up to the task force.

Once he'd finished I waited a few minutes for him to compose himself. When I did I finally spoke. "Ghost." I murmured, resting a hand on his shoulder. "It's ok you know, you can let go of it now. I will keep your secret, thank you for telling me."

Ghost lifted his head and looked at me blankly for a moment before breaking down completely. My eyes widened in surprise but I kept my hand where it was, removing it could set him off in the wrong direction and I didn't want that. I hesitantly patted his shoulder, not that it seemed to make much difference.

After about ten minutes he cleared his throat and sat up straight. Sliding his shades back on, Ghost returned to his normal state and stood up. "Thanks Roach." He said roughly before holding out his hand to help me up.

I smiled and grabbed his hand and he pulled me to his feet but I stumbled slightly and we both ended up on the floor. I sat up to find I was on top of him and hesitated when seeing his shades had been knocked off and our eyes met. For a moment I forgot he was my lieutenant and I was just a sergeant, leaning forward towards him.

Ghost leaned back and I realised what I was doing, I got off him quickly and stumbled back. Ghost sat up, looking at me in confusion and stood up as well. "Roach?" He asked, reaching out to touch me but I stepped back, shaking my head slowly before bolting and ran for my room. "Roach!"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

When I reached my room I yanked the door open, slamming it shut behind me. _What the hell is wrong with me?! _Ghost probably knew by now, there was no way he couldn't. I was so screwed. Panic flooded my veins and I grabbed a bag, throwing clothes into it randomly. I slowed down after a few moments, realising I was just slightly overreacting.

"I won't leave, I'll just avoid Ghost form now on. Yeah, that'll work." I muttered, trying to convince myself it would work, things would be fine. This was easier said than done as Ghost started pounding on my door.

"Roach open up!" I didn't trust me voice so I refused to answer. "Roach please!"

"What the hell is going on? Do you know what time it is?" Great, Soap had decided to join the party. "Well, is someone going to answer me?" He asked, his tone of voice demanding answers.

"Nothing Soap, I just need to talk to Roach." Ghost answered back stonily, refusing to elaborate which must have annoyed Soap.

"Can't it wait 'till morning."

"No!"

"Roach?" Soap asked cautiously through the door.

"Not now." I replied quietly, sighing heavily and running a hand through my hair. God I must sound like a pathetic wimp.

Soap sighed, knowing I definitely wasn't in the mood for talking. "Look Ghost it'll have to wait until morning."

"Fine! But I won't leave it alone! Roach you're going to talk to me tomorrow, one way or another." With that I assumed he left and I let out a breath I didn't realise I'd been holding in. opening the door, Soap slid in quickly and I shut it again. He looked around my room and spotted the half packed bag.

"Did he take his mask off?" He asked after a moment of looking between the bag and my pale face. I shook my head and he frowned in confusion. "So why are you packing then?"

"'Cuz he knows." I muttered, sitting down on the bed with a heavy thump and rubbed my head. "He's going to kill me, there's no way I can face him now."

"Why did you tell him then?"

"I didn't!" I replied, looking at him surprise to see he was watching me with a raised eyebrow, arms folded.

"So what happened?"

I hesitated, what Ghost had told me was in complete confidence and I could never betray him like that. "He… told me everything." I finally said, deciding I wasn't technically betraying him, I hadn't said anything.

Soap just looked at me in astonishment, the seconds slowly ticking by until he found something to say. "What?" He asked and I mentally rolled my eyes. Yes Soap was a man of many words.

"He told me about his past, why he is the way he is."

"And what, you didn't take it well?"

"No! I mean yes! I was fine he was the one who broke down. We were sat outside and he stood up, went to help me up but we fell and I…" I stopped and shook my head. "If I didn't leave then I would've told him everything."

Soap blew out a breath, running a hand through his hair. He opened his mouth to reply but before he could say anything Price's voice rang out over the comms. "Everyone to the briefing room, we have a new mission."

Soap gave me an apologetic look before we had to leave the conversation at that and head to the briefing room. As we walked in I faltered when seeing Ghost. He looked up to me and Soap stood together and I could practically see the anger rolling off him.

_Great, he probably thinks I'm 'with' Soap, lied about it and told him everything he confessed to me. Just perfect. _Soap glanced at me one last time before joining Price at the front. I looked around for a seat, almost groaning audibly when the only one left was next to Ghost, even more perfect.

I walked over and sat down, watching Ghost out of the corner of my eye. Not that I was expecting him to kill me or anything, not with so many witnesses around anyway. Glancing up hesitantly our eyes met and behind his shades I could see how hurt he was. He'd revealed his secrets to me and I ran, how much of a bastard could I be.

After five minutes of Price droning on about the mission, I knew he was happily distracted so wrote on the back of my sheet, passing it to Ghost.

_I'm sorry for being such a jerk. _

I waited five minutes for him to reply, trying and failing to concentrate. Whatever the mission was, it better not be taxing or I was so dead.

_I trusted you. _

My heart broke slightly at that. _I haven't told Soap. _

I heard him snort quietly so looked at him, trying to convey with my eyes it was true. He pushed the paper back and refused to look at me. _Why'd you lie?_

_About what?_

_You and Soap._

_I didn't. _

_Stop lying!_

_I'm not!_

Ghost clenched his pen tightly, the plastic bending under the force and I winced. He exhaled slowly and release his grip enough to scribble something and shoved the paper back to me. _How can I believe you?_

_If you don't you can shoot me right now. _I knew he carried a gun with him at all times. It was against protocol on base but I guess he had his reason. Pretty damn good ones since Soap allowed it. Five minutes passed in a deadly silence, Price's voice not reaching my ears as I watched Ghost contemplate his next move.

Finally he passed the paper back and I let out a small sigh of relief. _Ok, I believe you. _

_Do you believe I haven't told anyone about what you told me?_ Another pause before he wrote a reply. Another pause before he wrote a reply.

_Yes._

I sighed again in relief, maybe our relationship was still salvageable, hopefully. I went to write a reply but apparently the briefing was over as everyone stood up and started filing out until only me and Ghost remained. I stood up to follow, walking towards the door but Ghost grabbed my arm and forced me back into my seat.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

"What the hell Ghost?!" I asked incredulously as he closed the door, effectively blocking the only way out of the room. I took this opportunity to look at him and I mean really look at him. There were fine tremors running through his body and he'd clenched his hands to try and hide their shaking, not very well since I still noticed. "What happened to you?" I asked quietly as he started pacing, just loud enough for him to hear me.

He paused long enough to look at me and I could feel the glare through his shades. "You did!" He replied sharply, pointing a finger at me.

I went to ask what he meant but he strode over, out faces mere inches apart when he stopped. I tried to look away but my body wasn't responding so I stared dumfounded back at him. Ghost returns to pacing after a moment and I jumped when Soap's voice rang clearly through his headset, I hadn't turned my comms on yet.

"Where the bloody hell are you two?" He asked and Ghost sighed, pausing so he could talk to our captain.

"Sorry Soap we're not coming. I have some unfinished business to take of with Roach." I gulped at that, yeah I was so dead.

"Oh for god sake! Put Roach on."

Ghost unplugged his comms and handed it to me without even a glance in my direction. Ouch. I sighed and took it, mindful as to not touch Ghost and replaced me comms with his. "Soap?"

"Roach, what the hell is happening in there?"

I sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Look just go without us. We need to talk and besides, we're more likely to distractions that help." Soap took a moment to respond and I knew he was trying to figure a way of asking me something without Ghost, or anyone else listening, knowing what.

"Is it about... that chat we had?" He asked cautiously but I cottoned on to what he was actually saying.

I nodded, which was kinda pointless since Ghost was the only one who could see me. "Yes."

"Ok, I'll leave you to it. Please don't kill each other and get this shit sorted. I can't have you both missing missions like this so I don't expect this to happen again."

"Will do." The line went dead and I turned it off, placing it on the side next to mine. No-one needed to hear what was coming.

"What was he talking about?" Ghost asked after a moment and I frowned at him in confusion.

"What?"

"What. Did. He. Mean." Ghost asked deadly quietly, punctuating each word so there was no way I could misunderstand. I felt my blood run cold, Ghost had lost his mind completely, I was actually afraid of what he might do to me. "Roach!"

"Nothing!" I yelped quickly, looking at him and raised my hands. "It was just a normal chat, nothing special."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Yup, definitely sure."

Ghost advanced on me again, lifting a finger to poke me in the chest. "If I find out you've lied to me again. I promise I won't hold back." He threatened and I knew he meant every word so nodded quickly.

"Gotcha." _I'd rather you think me and Soap were together than learn the truth._ I bowed my head and closed my eyes with a sigh, feeling Ghost back off. Out of everything I'd done to try and prevent this, Ghost was going to find out one way or another. But I wouldn't say those words, I just couldn't. No matter what I refused to say it.

"Roach?" I looked up when he called my name to see him gripping the edge of the table, tight enough to turn his knuckles white. It looked like he was trying to hold himself together, hell he wasn't the only one.

"Yeah?" I asked softly. I didn't want to make him angry right now. The longer I could hold it off, the better. For the moment Ghost was balanced on 'sane' how long that would last I didn't know so no need to push him over if it could be helped.

"Do you know why I told you?"

"No."

He chuckled at that, shaking his head before banging his fist on the table. "Because I trust you completely Roach. I've never told anyone but you. I don't know why but I felt like I _needed_ to tell you." He snorted and sighed. "Not that I'd expect you to understand that."

He removed his shades and looked at me. Me being my idiotic self, got caught up in his eyes again and felt my heart rate quicken, my cheeks warming. I was surprised Ghost didn't notice as he watched me for a moment before looking down. I glanced away quickly, letting out a quiet sigh. How I was supposed to keep a clear mind was ridiculous.

"Roach?" I looked at him again carefully and he snorted. "Are you afraid?"

"Of what? The fact that there's a good chance you're going to kill me? Yup, definitely." I replied, surprised when he laughed because I wasn't joking.

"No I don't mean that." See, no denying he wouldn't kill me, not good. "I meant are you afraid to look at me, to see my past so clearly visible in my eyes?"

"No." I replied firmly, moving to stand next to him. "No I'm not."

"So why won't you look at me?"

"Because..." The words were there, on my tongue. But I just couldn't do it. "... because I can't." I finished lamely, shaking my head. _Coward._

Looking at Ghost again I saw him leaning on the table for support and reached out to help him but he hissed at me so I withdrew quickly like he'd bit me. Hell he might you never know with this guy. "Look Ghost-"

"Don't say anything Roach, please."

I fell silent and sat down in the chair next to me, trying to prepare myself for what he did next. What he did though was something I couldn't have imagined in my wildest dreams. He took his mask off.

I stared dumfounded at him, unable to form a sentence in my mind, let alone speak. Roba was a bastard, that was for sure and I hope he was rotting in the darkest pits of hell for what he'd done to Ghost. One side of his face was unmarked, probably a cruel reminder of what Ghost used to be. The other side of his face had been scarred heavily, jagged lines running down the side of his face to dip under the collar of his shirt where the continued for god knows how far.

The scars didn't bother me, I'd seen plenty in my lifetime and knew they weren't something you should recoil at the sight of, that was just plain insulting. I was surprised to find how attracted I was to Ghost. His hair was brown, lighter than mine due to its blonde streaks. At the moment it was a mess but i bet it was usually sleek with a slight wave. His jaw was prominent as was his nose which curved perfectly from his face perfectly. His mouth… well there were no words to describe it.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from him, completely transfixed. Ghost finally met my gaze, his eyes burning with something I wasn't used to with him, fear. I realised in that moment he wanted me to reject him, to run screaming from the room, pack my bags and leave, never to be heard from again. I couldn't though, I was rooted to my seat and was unable to move so much as a single muscle.

"Roach?" Ghost asked, breaking the hold on me and i realised I'd probably been staring quite a bit. My cheeks flushed and I looked away quickly, rubbing at my face to hide it. He moved closer to me but I kept my face angled away so I didn't have to look at him fully, I was already losing my mind as it was.

He laughed quietly. It wasn't a real laugh, it lacked any emotion, and it was humourless, dead. "See?" He said quietly, sighing and turning away. "This is why I distance myself from everyone. No-one likes a freak."

He bit the last sentence out coldly and I frowned, finding my voice again. "You're not a freak." I replied firmly, wishing I felt as brave as I sounded. My whole body was shaking so I stood up abruptly and starting pacing to retain what was left of my sanity.

"You believe that?" Ghost asked after a silent pause.

"Yes."

"Then look at me."

"No." There just wasn't any other way of saying it. It was this or I told him, either way our friendship was ruined. Then it hit me. _Why can't I tell him? It's not like we're going to be friends after this either way…_

"Why?"

I frowned in confusion before realising what he was asking. "Because if I do…" _C'mon Gary, say it, it's now or never. You are part of TF141 stop being a chicken! _"…I won't be able to stop." I glanced at him, not expecting him to look up sharply and I got caught up in his face again. It wasn't until he looked down was I able to start breathing again.

I pressed against the wall and slid down to the floor, resting my head between my knees and breathed deeply, calming my raging heart. _God he's going to kill me at this rate. I need to leave, now. _Looking up, I saw Ghost wasn't watching me or the door. It was my only chance and I took it, yanking the door open and bolted from the room.

"Gary!"

It was the first time I had ever heard Ghost use my real name, but I just kept running. I couldn't go back, I couldn't handle the rejection I'd receive from me, I just couldn't. Somehow I ended up in the rec room and closed the door behind me. Walking over to the couch slowly, I groaned and fell onto it, covering my eyes and before I knew it, I'd fallen asleep.

When I woke up a few hours later I peered around blearily. After a moment my eyes focused on a mug of coffee set in front of me, a note tucked underneath it. I reached out to have a look, jumping as Soap burst into the room.

"Roach?!" Spotting me sprawled out on the couch he sighed in relief and walked over calmly. "So you're still alive. I'm gunna take it as a good thing. What happened?"

"He took his mask off." I replied before groaning and sitting up to stretch.

"And?"

"And what?" I asked, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"What now?" Soap emphasized, sighing impatiently. I shrugged, the note catching my eyes again so I picked it up.

_When you're ready, come and find me. _

I groaned, falling back against the couch and just willed it to swallow me whole. Of course no such thing happened, my problems weren't so easily solved. Handing Soap the note to read, I stood up. "Now I tell the truth."

"Roach wait!"

I spun round as Soap called me, not giving him a chance to speak. "No! No more lies, I'm sick of it! For once I'm going to tell the truth. No matter what the cost!"

I burst through the doors sending the guys (AKA Ozone, Royce & Meat) flying backwards. I took no notice of them as I stormed to Ghost's room & began banging on the door. I didn't care what the others thought, this was between me & Ghost and it needed to be sorted.

"Ghost, open the bloody door!"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

"Ghost open the bloody door before I damn well kick it in!" I shouted, hammering some more at the abused door. It flew opened suddenly and I stumbled inside, righting myself before I fell flat on my ass. Taking a quick look around the room, I noted how neat it was, Ghost had a serious case of OCD going on. The desk was covered in precisely piled papers, but there were no personal affects to be seen anywhere.

The door shut and I jumped, remembering I wasn't alone and turned around to smile sheepishly at the man, pretending I hadn't just been caught snooping. "Well?" I asked, folding my arms and standing up straight, raising an eyebrow in question. "What did you want to talk about?"

I sure as hell sounded a lot braver than I felt, something I was glad for considering I was expecting to sound kind of squeaky. That would not go down well with Ghost, or anyone for that matter. Even as I thought it, any courage I had mustered up on the way here drained from me, shit.

"I want to talk about… our relationship."

My mouth opened in surprise and I looked at him shocked. _Surely he didn't mean… no you prat, he wants to talk about _your _feeling towards _him_. Not the other way around. _He sighed at sat on his bed, leaving me to take the chair. "Well?" I asked again, less demanding this time.

He glanced at me before looking down, fiddling with his glove again. I came to the conclusion it was something he did when stressed or nervous or something. So when he did it, not a good sign. "Ghost?" I asked quietly, reaching out to touch his arm and was surprised when he let my hand rest there. The heat from his arm spread over my fingers and through my body and I had to fight off the feeling, I couldn't get flustered now of all times.

"Roach… There's something I need to tell you. There's no easy way to say this and you'll probably hate me afterwards but-" He stopped abruptly and stood up, looking at his door. I opened my mouth to ask what the hell he was doing but he waved his hand at me, making me close it again and wait. After a few moments there was a knock at the door and I looked at Ghost in surprise, he had some damn good hearing.

"Ghost, Roach, come on out." Great it was Soap. I sighed and stood up as Ghost opened the door.

"Yes Soap?" He asked casually, even in such a situation he still managed to flip that switch. Sometimes I wished I had one, would make my life easier I bet.

"Come with me." Soap turned and started walking down the corridor, beckoning us with one hand so we had no choice but to follow. There was no arguing with the Scot when he used his 'Captain' voice. We followed him to his office and when going inside, I spotted a man sat in one of the chairs waiting. Soap turned and looked at me, sighing heavily. "Roach, this is Beat."

I felt Ghost stiffen next to me and snuck a glance at the man to find that yes, he was stiff enough that I could probably blow and he would fall over. "Why is he here?" Ghost asked quietly, the question directed at Soap obviously since I couldn't answer it and I don't think Beat would either considering he was trying to meld himself with the chair to stay unnoticed.

"Because he has something to talk about with Roach." Soap responding, looking at me again.

"No." Ghost said bluntly, folding his arms as he squared up against Soap. To be honest I wasn't sure which of them would win in a fight and I really didn't want to find out.

"Excuse me?"

"I said no!" Ghost turned and grabbed my shoulders. "Roach whatever he says… please don't think differently of me." My eyes widened for a moment before I managed to smile weakly, squeezing his arm reassuringly. He looked at me for a moment before sighing and letting go, allowing Soap to tow him from the room and left me alone with Beat.

"Hello." He said and I looked at him curiously for a moment before smiling.

"Uh, hi." I stood there awkwardly for a moment before looking at Soap's desk which was suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.

"Don't give in." I looked up at him and frowned in confusion. Nothing was making sense anymore, kill the enemies and survive to live another day, that's was my life. This stuff was messing with my life completely and I knew it would never be the same again. "That feeling." Beat elaborated when I just looked at him in confusion and then stiffened, eyeing him suspiciously.

To say he looked terrible was an understatement. The man looked frail, like he would break if I so much as touched him. _Was Ghost really that bad? Did he do this to this man? No he couldn't… could he? _

"That felling you get when you look at him. He's not who you think he is." I bristled at that, not who I thought he was huh? How could I not after knowing the man two years. I didn't care what Beat was saying, he had just pissed me off completely.

"Ok then, who is he?" I asked, folding my arms and raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to continue.

"A monster." Beat replied simply, his eyes lighting up. "He's not human Roach! His humanity left him a long time ago, leaving that shell out there." That was a harsh thing to say, considering both Soap and Ghost were listening to the conversation and I was sure he knew it.

"I don't care." I replied simply. "I know who he is and what he's been through. In fact his humanity is more visible than most around here."

"You're making a mistake."

"About what, Ghost? I don't care anymore, I'm in too deep so can't pull out now." I sighed and walked towards the door. "Sorry but nothing you will say can change my mind." Opening the door, Ghost and Soap sprang back, trying and failing to look like they hadn't been listening.

"Don't say I didn't warn you!" Beat shouted after me and I huffed.

"I'll take the chance!" Closing the door, I turned and looked at Soap exasperatedly. "What the hell was that about it?"

He just looked at me with a raised eyebrow before responding. "I wanted you to see what became of him. He was a good soldier, a good man. Don't let it happen to you."

I nodded in understanding, Soap wasn't trying to stop me, just warn me of what could happen. I walked down the hallway, hearing Ghost follow behind me. Walking outside and away from the base, I didn't stop until I knew we were both out of eyesight and would be overheard. It was starting to get dark so no-one would be able to see much either, if they decided to snoop. I stopped and turned, waiting for Ghost to come up a few seconds behind me.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

Ghost looked at me and we stayed silent for a few long minutes, I couldn't decipher anything from him. That wasn't fair considering my face was exposed and Ghost was most definitely reading my expression. "Take your shades off."

"What?"

"Take them off." I repeated and he obliged so I could now see he was looking at me apprehensively. "Well?"

"Well what?"

I sighed, resisting the urge to face palm because it wouldn't help the situation in any way. Ghost was being difficult but it wasn't going to stop me, whatever he was going to say earlier he would say to me now, one way or another. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what you were going to earlier."

"I can't." Ghost replied quietly, stepping back when I huffed loudly and threw my arms up in frustration.

"Why? Whatever it is I can take it, I don't care anymore. I just want the bloody truth!" I stopped and sighed deeply, pinching my nose. _Calm down Gary. Getting angry will only push him further away. _

"No." Ghost said softly, probably trying to calm me down but it just had the opposite effect. Almost crying out in frustration, I just managed to stop myself and controlled my voice when I spoke again.

"Take your mask off."

"No!" His eyes widened and mine narrowed as I stepped closer to him.

"Take it off or tell me the truth." He sighed in defeat and took it off. As before I was struck by his face, completely gone and my anger was forgotten.

"Roach?" I looked at him questioningly and he sighed, running a hand through his hair to mess it up further. "Tell me the truth."

I opened my mouth, unsure as to what to say so closed it again. Sitting down on the grass, Ghost followed suit and waited patiently whilst I sorted out the train wreck inside my head. I sighed and looked up at the stars now visible in the sky, funny how something so small could also be so great at the same time.

"Ghost?"

"Yeah?"

"I think…" I stopped abruptly, managing to pull myself together to blurt it out in one jumbled mess. "IthinkI'minlovewithyou." I covered my mouth quickly, horrified that I'd actually said that as Ghost looked up sharply and his eyes widened.

"What?" He finally asked and I almost flinched away, almost, but I managed to stop myself. Instead I lowered my head and shook it.

"Don't make me say it again, it was hard enough the first time. He started laughing so I looked up with a frown, what the hell was so funny. "What?"

Ghost kept laughing and my head felt like it was going to explode with the hurricane of emotions running through it. Pulling myself together I looked at him again when he stopped laughing, instead he was completely silent, just looking at me. No expression showed on his face but I knew what I had said was definitely not what he wanted to hear. Feeling the panic rising again I moved to get up and leave quickly but he grabbed my hand and forced me back down, not letting go of me afterwards.

"Ghost?" I asked quietly, looking down at our hands.

"Yeah?"

"It's your turn, please tell me the truth." Looking up at him hesitantly, I saw him smile a heartbreakingly beautiful smile, making my heart lodge in my throat.

"I think I love you too Gary." Relief I'd never felt before flooded my system and I swear I blanked out for a few moments, a goofy grin spreading across my face. My goddamn feeling were returned, I would never have even dreamed of it… wait this wasn't a dream was it? Ghost was waving a hand in front of my face with a worried expression, drawing me out of my mindless worry. "You ok?"

"Oh yeah, I'm perfect." I waved his remark off, berating myself for thinking of something so stupid, dream my ass.

Ghost laughed at that before letting go of my hand and standing up. "Come on, let's go back to base already, it's getting too dark to see a damn thing." He put his mask and shades back on before turning and walking back to base. When he realised I wasn't following he sighed and came back. "No-one can know, it's too risky. Well except Soap, but he probably already knows."

I laughed at that and let Ghost pull me to my feet, following him back to base. I stumbled slightly in the dark and Ghost had to grab my arm to steady me, which definitely didn't help my case. I was still feeling light-headed from before so what I definitely in need of was a good, strong dose of coffee to clear my head.

When we entered the base everything was dark and quiet, the only sounds were mine and Ghost's footsteps as we walked down the corridor. "Everyone must have gone to bed." Ghost murmured, leading us into the mess hall, apparently I wasn't the only one with coffee on my mind.

Entering the blissfully quiet mess hall, I left him to choose some seats and headed to the other end of the room where the drinks were kept. "Want some?" I asked, not that I needed to but it was out of courtesy, and held up the coffee pot for him to see.

"Sure thing."

Pouring both of us a cup, I made note to not add anything to Ghost's, I knew him well enough now that he liked his coffee plain and strong, which wasn't really that surprising when you knew him. Joining Ghost at his usual table, we sat in silence for a while just drinking. It wasn't awkward like some of our previous get together's; actually it was nice to just sit together in agreement, everything out in the open for once.

But of course it was sort lived, just a small slice of heaven before the comms rang loudly through the base. "Sorry everyone but drag your arses outta bed, we got a new mission."

Ghost sighed and stood up, grabbing my mug before dumping them both in the sink for some unlucky soul to wash later. "Come on bug, we've got a mission apparently."

I shook my head, a small smile pulling at my lips as we left the room. "Will you ever stop calling me that?" I joked and Ghost turned to look at me for a moment before pulling me into a quick hug. It wasn't anything long, just a few short seconds but it had the same effect and my face flushed slightly, making him laugh.

"Hmm… let me think about it for a moment… nope." I snorted and shook my head, following his laughing ass down to the briefing room.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

As we entered the briefing room I noted we were the first ones there as we took seat next to Soap, who looked at us funny as we sat down. "You got here quickly." He said suspiciously, looking between us.

"Couldn't sleep man." Ghost replied with a sigh, leaning back comfortably in his seat, resting the end of his feet on the table. If it was anyone else Soap would have probably shot them but because Ghost was his lieutenant, he got away with a lot of shit. "Went to the mess hall with Roach for some coffee."

"You mean you woke him up to have coffee with you?" Soap asked sarcastically, his eyebrow raising higher.

I sighed and shook my head as Ghost snorted, sometimes our Captain could be so dense. Military stuff, no problem, relationships on the other hand, yeah he was stumped. "No he didn't wake me up, I was already with him."

Unable to resist it, I glanced at Ghost, quickly looking away when he returned my gaze to focus on Soap instead. I almost laughed when one of those imaginary light bulbs pinged into existence above his head. "You mean…" He said quietly, looking at us both questioningly so I just smiled and Ghost nodded. "Wow Ghost, I didn't realise you liked bugs so much!"

Ghost shifted to sit up properly, punching Soap lightly in the arm. Before he could retort though the doors opened and the rest of the team began filing in so we had to leave the conversation at that. Once everyone was settled and quietened down, Soap stood up to begin the briefing. He slid a note to Ghost and I was sure I was the only one who noticed considering everyone else still seemed half asleep.

I waited patiently for a moment as Ghost read it before sliding the note to me. _Remember, mission first, emotions second. Don't let this interfere with the team or I won't be able to help you. Don't forget the rules. _

I looked up at Soap and nodded when he glanced in my direction and he gave the slightest inclination of his head in return before returning to briefing the team. After a good hour or so we were finally allowed to leave. After yet another five hours we landed in the drop zone, for once not being hit with an RPG, things were looking good.

"Alright everyone you know the drill, split into your teams, clear and secure the area. Go!" Soap smiled in satisfaction as everyone jumped into action. Price couldn't be here to oversee this mission so he was the only one in charge and he loved it. Beckoning for me and ghost to follow him, we made our way towards the target building. "Ok Roach, go in and grab the DSM. We'll wait out her and cover your ass."

"Got it." I darted inside quickly, grabbing the DSM from the computer system.

As I made my way back to the front door, I realised I hadn't seen any Tango's inside, which was definitely suspicious. Before I could think about it some more, Ghost's voice rang through my comm. "Roach hurry up, Tango's closing in!"

I ran into the main room, the front door within my sights and I froze as it opened, diving behind the nearest object, a sofa. Yeah yeah, how old am I again? Perring around the side, I frowned when no-one entered. "Sir, what the hell?"

"Shh…"I shut up immediately, knowing not to question Soap or it could cost me my life. "Roach get out of there now! They're gunna blow it with an RPG!"

_That's why they didn't shoot the plane, they were saving it for the idiot who went in the house, lucky me. _I thought somewhat rationally before sprinting for the door. I wasn't quick enough and the missile flew past me, narrowly missing my head as it ruffled my hair and struck the building. With a low groan I heard the supports creak and knew it was a matter of seconds before the whole thing collapsed.

I tucked the DSM safely inside my jacket, this whole mission would be pointless if it broke so I had to be careful. Heading for the door again I cursed as I wasn't quick enough, the last thing I heard was a loud snap and a shout before something struck the back of my head and I blacked out.

"Roach no!"

I woke up slowly, the back of my head throbbing like hell. I sat up and groaned, touching the back of it and my eyes widened when I felt a sticky substance. Cursing when I saw my hand stained red, I looked around the dusty debris slowly and saw I was so lucky. A large chunk of rock and landed not two inches from my body, which would have been a death sentence. I could hear faint shouting which was getting louder as my head cleared.

"Let me in there!" A familiar cockney accent rang out and I frowned in confusion, I couldn't remember who it was.

"No Ghost it's too risky!" Oh it was Ghost, how could I forget that? My head must be more hurt then I thought.

"I don't care!"

"Calm the hell down!"

"No!"

Hearing a thump and some more shouting and noise, I sighed. _Guess Ghost and Soap are fighting. I'll have to make my own way out then. _I coughed, clearing my throat of debris and began climbing through the wreckage, I wasn't called Roach for nothing. I was known for being able to get out of any tight situation and this wasn't going to be my downfall.

I sighed in relief and took in a lungful of sweet, clean air as I finally breached the surface. Hearing another shout I opened my eyes to see Ghost run over and smiled weakly when he reached me. "I got it!" I said, patting my chest before giggling, the blood loss finally getting the better of me.

"Fuck the bloody DSM, I'm just glad you survived idiot." Ghost retorted angrily as he dragged me out of the remains of the building and over to Soap who raised an eyebrow as I continued giggling.

"I think he hit his head."

"No, really? What was your first clue, the fucking building collapsing on him?!" Ghost asked sarcastically and Soap laughed, letting it go since he knew Ghost was just pissed I was hurt. He helped Ghost drag me to my feet and they both supported me back to the plane and I started drifting in and out of focus.

…_Ghost dragging me onto the plane…_

…_Soap checking out my arm…_

…_The teams worried faces…_

…_Ghost carrying me back to base…_

Then nothing.

…

I woke up suddenly and sat bolt upright, hissing when pain jolted from my head and down my body. Cradling my head I flinched when a figure next to me yelped and fell backwards off their chair and I snorted. "You alright there mate?" I asked, clearing my throat when my voice came out all scratchy.

"Yeah, a lot better than you at any rate."

This time I recognised his accent immediately and blushed. "Hey Ghost."

He sighed before getting up, moving his chair back into its original position and sat down next to me again. "Hey Roach."

"So, how long have I been out?" I asked, obviously a while since my damn body hurt like hell and talking made my throat feel like it was being clawed from the inside. Not nice, I'll tell you that for sure.

"…a week." Ghost finally replied, leaning on the bed and looked at me intently, it was only then I realised his shade were off, how observant of me.

"Wow! I must've hit my head real hard."

Ghost snorted in reply, for some reason I sounded oddly proud of that. "Well the building did most of the work you idiot, some things never change." He paused before grasping my hand firmly. "I didn't think you were going to wake up." He said softly and I could hear the worry in his voice, he must have been scared for me.

"Ghost…" I whispered, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "I'm not going to die on you, I promise."

He sighed, visibly relaxing. "Good, now get some sleep, you still need it."

"Yes sir!" His chuckle was the last thing I heard as I laid back against the pillow and fell asleep again.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

I woke up again to find myself in the infirmary and sighed, how long did Doc plan on keeping me here? Hopefully he would be in later and let me go, I felt ok last night with Ghost, aside from the soreness but that will only go when I'm up and going again. Glancing at the calendar, my eyes widened when if focused on the date and saw it had been another week. So I'd pretty much spent two weeks comatose, great.

I squinted at the calendar when I saw this week circled red before realising it meant holidays and smiled, perfect time to wake up and relax a few days. Remembering about Ghost I looked around, frowning when I realised he wasn't here. Spotting a neat pile of clothes I got up and managed to change before making my way to the mess hall.

It took me a while, I mean my legs weren't used to this and I had to use the wall more than I'd like to admit to support me as I half stumbled towards the hall. Going inside, I had to use my whole weight to push the door open and paused when I saw Ghost at his usual table, twirling a half drunk bottle in his hands. His mask was off and he took another swig of the drink before sighing and setting it down with a clunk on the table.

"Ghost?" I asked and he yelped, falling off the bench. I snorted, raising an eyebrow before moving to help him up. "Are you going to do that every time I say your name?" He just sat staring at me with wide eyes, the shock on his face freaking me out to no end. "Ghost?" I asked quietly, crouching down next to him and he started moving away. "Ghost, what the hell, you ok?"

I reached out and touched him arm, which seemed to flip a switch. He jumped up and bolted from the room. Downright confused by the odd behaviour, I grabbed a roll from the side before making my way to Soap's office. Surely he would know the reason behind Ghost's odd behaviour.

Soap never left during the holidays. _"Nothing to go back to." _He said when I asked, this was his home. Reaching his office I knocked on the door and heard a sigh from the inside, followed by a rustle of papers. "Come in." I raised an eyebrow at his tone, it was strangely devoid, something was definitely wrong on base at the moment. Going inside, my suspicions were confirmed when I saw my captain was in worse shape than Ghost. He hadn't shaved probably since I last saw him on the mission, his beard longer than I'd ever seen it. "Are you ok?"

He asked and frowned, Soap hadn't even looked to see who I was. "I'm fine captain, but you let yourself go aint ya?" His head snapped up and his eyes widened when he looked at me, his mouth opening slightly. Yup something was definitely up, Soap had even let the captain thing go. I sighed impatiently and folded my arms. "Why is everyone acting so weird around me?"

Soap gaped at me for a few moments longer before finally responding. "Doc said there wasn't any hope…" He whispered and I sighed, looking at him questioningly. "You're supposed to be in the hospital, brain dead."

It was my turn for my mouth to open in surprise. "W-what? Obviously I'm not since I'm standing right here!"

Soap stood up, moving to stand in front of me. "Doc said you were gone. The team was in such a mess I let them go home early to be with their families. It's been me and Ghost for almost a week now. He hasn't taken it well, I don't think he's slept at all yet." He paused, looking at me sharply. "What do you mean _everyone_?"

"Well I ran into Ghost in the mess hall." I held up my roll to show him. "He bolted like he'd seen a ghost, ha ironic isn't it?" I stopped suddenly as it became clear. "He thinks I'm dead doesn't he?" Soap just nodded in reply. "So can you persuade him I'm not?"

Soap sighed, running a hand through his hair and turned away. "I don't know, he's in such a mess at the moment I can't talk to him. I mentioned your name the other day and he almost lost it with me. I can try though… Meet me in the rec room in a minute whilst I find Ghost."

"Ok." I headed for the rec room whilst Soap went searching. Even as I walked through base, the place looked darker, a heavy silence hanging in the air. _What's happened here? I didn't know everyone cared that much. Did my supposed death really have such a negative effect on everyone? _Entering the room I waited patiently for a few minutes and Soap came in the room, Ghost following reluctantly behind.

"Why are we here Soap?" Ghost asked, his voice quiet, I almost didn't hear him.

"Because Roach wants to talk to you." Soap replied and Ghost froze instantly, his face contorting with anger.

"Roach is dead you bastard!" He yelled, jumping on top of Soap before trying to punch him.

Soap glanced at me exasperatedly and I went to Ghost's side, grabbing his arm to stop him swinging his punch. "Ghost, stop!" He paused, quickly spinning to flip me over and pin me down, his punch now aimed for me instead but he stopped abruptly when he saw who I was, his eyes widening and hand falling limp to his side.

"Roach?" He asked quietly, disbelieving. He reached out to touch me, but hesitated and stopped, shaking his head slowly. "Is it really you?"

"Yes Ghost, I'm not dead or in any immediate danger of dying. I made you a promise remember? I intend to keep it." I smiled reassuringly, relaxing as I knew he wouldn't hit me now.

Soap cleared his throat and we both turned to look at him. "Well I'm off, whatever you two get up to, please don't disturb me." With that he left the room, leaving us alone.

I turned to look at Ghost again to see he was looking at me intently and blushed slightly. Yes I blushed, don't hold it against me, anyone would under such an intense gaze. Ghost reached out and took my hand, squeezing it softly and laughed. "You're real." I opened my mouth to reply but he pulled me up into a firm hug before I could. "I thought I dreamt you waking up a week ago."

"What in the infirmary?" I asked, pulling out of his hold to look at him questioningly and he nodded.

"Yeah, Doc said I was hallucinating, the team thought I was going mad. Hell, I even began think I was too." He sighed heavily, moving to lay next to me but kept a firm grip on my hand which I knew was for reassurance, but chose not to say anything. After a few minutes his grip relaxed so I turned to look at him, smiling softly when I saw he had fallen asleep.

I got up, managing to just about pick Ghost up and get him on the sofa. I sat down next to it, resting my head near his and waited whilst he slept. I must have drifted out of consciousness at some point because the next thing I knew Ghost sat bolt upright suddenly, startling me into existence again. "Roach!"

"Yeah Ghost?"

He looked down at me and laughed in relief, tangling his fingers in my hair. "Hey." He murmured softly and I lifted my head so he ran his fingers down my face to grasp my jaw. "Wanna get some coffee?"

"Sure thing." I smiled and stood up, letting Ghost pull me into the mess hall again. Just like before I poured us both a cup and we sat down in silence for a while.

"Hey Roach?" Ghost finally asked so I looked at him.

"Yes?"

"When I thought you were… dead, I went through hell, I really did. The thought of losing you like that…" He paused and sighed, looking down at his cup and gripped it tightly. "There were so many things I wanted to say and do with you. I never thought I'd get the chance." He looked up again, catching my eyes. "Now I get that chance and I sure as hell aint going to waste it."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, in response he lent forward and pressed his lips against mine. I had to admit, it was a kiss like I'd never experience before. A fire spread quickly through my body and my eyes slid shut as I returned the pressure, leaning closer to the man in front of me.

Ghost pulled back after a moment and smiled. "I'm glad I got the chance to do that."

"Mmm, me too." I rolled my eyes when he laughed, a smile pulling at my own lips but I refused to show it more than that. I glanced at the doors as they opened and Soap strolled in, raising an eyebrow at Ghost who was still laughing.

"Do I want to know?"

"Nope." I replied, Ghost finally quietening down enough to shake his head.

"Good, I don't want an explanation. Anyway, Roach I called your family and they're on their way down. They'll be here tomorrow."

"What?" I asked in shock, sitting upright and they both looked at me in confusion.

"Roach they thought you were dead. I rang to tell them you were awake and they're coming down. It wasn't planned but it's happening now." I sighed in defeat and nodded.

"What is it?" Ghost asked as he noticed my downcast face.

"Well…" I began reluctantly, looking up at Ghost. "You … remember my ex Sarah?" They both nodded in reply. "She didn't take the break up well and neither did my family. There's a lot of bad blood between me and my father now because of it. Every time I see my family, she's there. My dad wants us to get back together but I refuse and every time she gets more willing to do anything. So she'll be here no doubt. But on the plus side Amber, my sister, will be here and she hates Sarah."

I glanced at Ghost to see his face was blank and knew he was thinking rapidly about something. "Well we just won't tell them about you two, problem solved." Soap said simply.

"Good plan." Ghost agreed.

"Yeah, I just hope they don't find out. They probably won't find my taste…" I glanced at Ghost and smiled wryly. "…all that normal."

We all laughed at my comment, but inside I was still worrying about tomorrow. I hoped Sarah wouldn't be there, that things would run smoothly and not find out about Ghost. But of course, I couldn't have been more wrong.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

The next day came too quickly for my liking. One moment I was lying down to sleep and the next it was morning and I was being hit in the face with a pillow being throw at me. "Oi Bug, get your lazy arse outta bed!"

I groaned and rolled over. "Ten minutes Ghost." He laughed and jumped on me, making me groan again, yes he was heavy. "Oi!" I yelled, sitting upright to glare at him.

"What?"

"I was sleeping and you bloody jumped me!"

He shrugged. "You wouldn't get up." He replied simply before kissing me quickly and ran off. I stared after him in shock, definitely not used to that kind of affection from him, not that I was complaining. I smirked when an idea formed and got up to change, grabbing his pillow as I left my room. I walked quietly into the rec room to see Ghost leaning over the desk, scribbling something down and snuck up behind him. Clearing my throat, he turned to look and I whacked him in the face, making me laugh as he almost fell out of his seat. "Hey!"

"What?" I asked innocently and he growled but never replied as Soap walked in, probably saving me a couple of bruises. "What's up Soap?"

"Your family called."

"Why did they call you?" I asked in confusion, surely they would call their son, not his superior?

"Because _someone's _not answering their phone." He replied, looking at me pointedly and Ghost snorted.

"When are they getting here?"

"In about half an hour, they just passed the checkpoint in town." Ghost nodded and stood up, leaving the room and Soap frowned at me. "Where's he going?"

I shrugged in reply. "Probably to get his mask and shades." I guessed and it dawned on me. "You've seen him without his mask on!"

"You just noticed?" Soap asked sarcastically before laughing and I couldn't help but join in. Ghost came back a few moments later and as I accurately guessed, his mask was on and he was just slipping his shades into place.

"So what now?" He asked, walking back to my side and lent against the table, looking at Soap for an answer.

"Now you two act professional please, Lieutenant and Sergeant Relationship."

I looked at Ghost who caught my eyes and he shrugged. "Just like old times."

"Yay." I sighed, Ghost laughing at the expression on my face before pulling me into a hug. Soap cleared his throat after a few seconds so I pulled back to grin at him. "What Soap, you want a hug too?"

"Uh, no thanks." He smiled and began backing away towards the door slowly. "I've got something to do…" With that he left the room quickly, presumably to his office.

"Ok Roach." Ghost said, clapping his hands together before turning to look at me. "Since we're being _professional_ again, you need to train your ass up. Let's go, I can't have you going out in the field in your current state."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Thanks for your confidence Ghost, really appreciate it."

"Any time, I'm great at pep talks." I snorted and rolled my eyes yet again, Ghost thankfully not noticing as he had turned to leave the room so I quickly followed after him. I learnt from experience he didn't wait around and would just leave without me if I didn't follow.

We entered the armoury and Ghost headed towards his usual ACR as I grabbed my preferred gun, the M4A1 and loaded it with blanks, killing Ghost was definitely not on my things to do list. I paused suddenly, feeling Ghost close behind me and turned to find he was leaning against the rack behind me.

"Ready to go?" He asked and I nodded. With a sigh he pushed himself away and walked towards the door, pausing for me to catch up and I frowned. Before I could ask what it was he turned around, his ACR falling to his waist as he grabbed my face.

"Ghost?" I asked quietly, grasping one of his arms. "What is it?"

He chuckled quietly, letting go of me with one hand to pull his mask up to expose his mouth. "Damn it Roach I can't control myself around you." He replied, leaning down to kiss me again before breaking contact with me and pulling his mask back down, clearing his throat. "Come on then, let's see what you've got." I shook my head, a small smile tugging at my lips, yeah kissing Ghost was something I could definitely get used to.

We walked out onto the training grounds, heading to the back where there was a large field we used for activities such as these, and occasionally football, if enough people were interested. We headed to opposite ends and with Ghost's signal, I dropped to the floor and went prone. As well as his good hearing, Ghost had extremely good eyesight, this was my only chance to get close to him without being spotted.

Finding cover behind a rock, I peeked out slowly to see Ghost was to my right, scouting around the edge of the field. I smiled and circled around behind him, carefully coming up behind him. I grabbed my gun and was just aiming for his back when I made my fatal mistake, I wasn't watching my footwork and with a loud snap, a twig snapped under my boot and I cursed.

"Shit." I managed to say before Ghost whirled around, firing instantly and the blank hit me in the shoulder, did I mention he had a wicked aim too? The force of the bullet knocked me off my feet and I fell to the ground with a groan, clutching my soon to be bruised shoulder.

"You did good Bug, got pretty close to me, shame about that twig." I looked up to see Ghost standing over me, shouldering his gun whilst watching me and I knew he was smirking underneath his mask. "Guess you still got some skill huh?" He sighed, holding out a hand which I gratefully took so he could pull me to my feet. He kept a firm grip on my hand and pulled me closer so our bodies were almost pressed together. "You going to be ok with your family here?"

I nodded, smiling reassuringly before squeezing his hand and stepping away to put an appropriate distance between us. "Of course, and right now we're not doing too good with the 'professional' relationship."

He chuckled at that and shook his head. "Yeah, I know, I'm sorry."

"I don't mind." I said quickly, worried he'd think it was because I didn't like it. "It's just if anyone found out it would put us both in danger."

"I know." Ghost sighed, reaching out to brush a hand through my hair and I couldn't help but smile, Ghost being affectionate was something new, but I loved it because it was something only I got to see, something he only trusted me with. "The thought of you being in danger because of me-" He stopped abruptly at that and looked towards the base. "Your family's here."

I looked at the base to see another car parked there and sighed. "Ok, we should get back."

We started back and after a moment Ghost bumped our shoulders together. "C'mon, aren't you happy they're here, they thought you were dead after all."

"I know, but it's not my family I'm worried about."

"Sarah?"

"Exactly." I nodded and glanced at him as we entered the armoury to store our gear and unload the guns. "Hey Ghost?" He hummed in response so I continued. "Whatever Sarah says to you or does, it's a lie ok."

"Is she really that bad?"

"Yes, she's a manipulative bitch. I know you won't fall for her tricks, but please be careful."

"What happened between you two?"

I paused and sighed, turning to look at him. "Not now yeah, save that for another day." After a moment he nodded in response, walking towards me to pull me into a hug. "Stop stressing, she'll have a hard time getting rid of me." Stepping away he slapped my shoulder. "Now come on, let's go to the mess hall."

"Ok." I followed him to the mess hall and sat down with a sigh, smiling gratefully when he came over with a cup of coffee a few moments later to hand to me. "Thanks."

Ghost covered my hand with his and squeezed briefly. "It'll be ok Roach." I didn't answer and he kept his hand over mine until the door opened so he pulled it away as everyone walked in.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

It was my sister who came over first and hugged me fiercely. "Hey Gary." Even though she was smaller than me, she could definitely hold her own. Pulling back she grinned widely and me. We were twins so it wasn't unsurprising we looked so similar, identical brown eyes and hair, hers having a slight red tinge from our mother. Although we looked similar, we couldn't be more different, whereas I rushed into things without thinking of the consequences, she had a level head, always thinking things through first. She had gotten me out of some tight spots over the years.

"Hey Amber." I retuned the hug warmly and whispered into her ear, "Is she here?"

She laughed and we broke our hug. "Did you think she wouldn't be?"

"I can always hope."

Amber sighed and squeezed my arm. "I'm glad you're still alive."

I laughed at that. "You and me both, trust me." She smiled and let me go so I could go over to our mother and I rolled my eyes as she hugged me equally as tightly. "Hey mum."

"Oh thank god, I thought we'd lost you." I chuckled when she wouldn't let me go and slowly pulled out of her arms to smile reassuringly at her. She was also a slight woman, I got my build from my dad. Her hair was greying now but the red was still visible and her face lined with wrinkled. Her eyes still shone a bright blue colour and you could tell instantly she was a kind woman.

"I'm not going anywhere just yet, promise."

She smiled, running a hand through my hair with a sigh, not unlike Ghost did earlier. "My little boy, please don't scare us like that again."

"I'll try not to."

She let me go and I sighed deeply before turning to face my dad and walked over to him. In many ways we were similar, the same build, hair, his now an iron grey due to his age but was brown before and eyes, the same shade as mine but they were hard and cold. I guess you could say he was the complete opposite of my mum, which I could never understand, I guess opposites do attract. Hell the same could be said for me and Ghost, how much did we really have in common?

"Son." He said stiffly as I stopped in front of him and I raised an eyebrow. Our relationship was never great but it had taken a nosedive after me and Sarah broke up, he could never understand.

"That's all you've got to say after I pretty much come back from the dead?"

"You broke Sarah's heart.

I sighed and pinched my nose, this conversation, every single time I saw him. It was one of the reasons I was glad I was part of the task force, I spent most of my time here and not at home dealing with this again and again. Dad never listened to me, he never would and god forbid the day he found out about Ghost, he would probably have a heart attack.

"It wasn't working out dad." I replied yet again. This wasn't a conversation I wanted to have again, especially since Ghost was in the room and could hear every word.

"She's in love with you, she thought you were-"

"Going to propose?" I finished, shaking my head and looked at him imploringly. "Yeah dad, I know. You've said it several times over and it won't change anything."

"I'll keep trying until you realise she is the one, you will realise this eventually and sort your differences out." He grabbed my shoulders suddenly and looked me in the eyes. "Please Gary, I know you still love her."

"I don't!" I yelled, my patience snapping with the man and I pulled away from him. "I don't love her anymore, you can't force me to!"

Ghost intervened suddenly and grabbed my arm from behind, steering me away from the room. "I'm sorry Mr and Mrs Sanderson, Amber. He's still slightly confused you know, the building that fell on his head. I'll take him to the infirmary for his medication and he'll be fine in a bit." With that he dragged me from the room like a tantruming child and to the infirmary. He didn't speak to me until we were there and he'd shut the door. "What the bloody hell was that about Roach?"

I smiled at his cockney accent, what can I say, it did things to me nothing else ever had and I felt myself calming. With a heavy sigh I sat on one of the cots, Ghost sitting next to me. "Well that went well, all things considered."

"How was that 'well'?" he asked incredulously and I chuckled.

"Well for one, I didn't tell them, two, they haven't guessed and three, I haven't seen Sarah yet." I held up three fingers in turn before lowering my hand. "That's going to be a nightmare from hell."

Ghost sighed, rubbing his face before turning to look at me. "Well at least you're not shouting anymore."

"Why would I shout at you?" I asked, leaning against him and smiled as he put an arm over my shoulders.

"Roach we can't be seen like this, what is someone walks in?"

"Fuck them, I don't care right now." Hearing footsteps outside I sprang away and Ghost looked at me as I smiled guiltily. "So much for that huh?" I joked and ghost never got the chance to respond as the person outside entered.

Of course it was Sarah and I had to rest the urge to roll my eyes, she was beautiful I could give her that, but it was an observation, nothing more. Her hair fell in golden waves, reaching just below her shoulders, her eyes a rich blue and her nose small, which protruded from her slightly rounded face. She wore red lipstick to match the small, and tight I might add, dress she was wearing, showing off all her curves, amongst other things.

It was obviously supposed to entice me, hell it would have and did a few years ago. Now however, I realised appearances weren't all what they seemed and I saw more than face value with her. No matter what she tried, it would never be attractive to me unless she was to become Ghost's clone. I smiled inwardly at that before quickly returning to the present as she walked towards us, her heels clicking sharply on the tiled floor.

I felt Ghost stiffen next to me and risked a quick glance at him to see he was rigid, probably with shock. I sighed and stood up, going to meet Sarah halfway. "Hey Sarah."

She smiled with the full force of her charm and I was pleased to say, well think, it wasn't even a fraction of Ghost's. "Hey babe." She responded, lowering her voice to a husky whisper and leaned forward to kiss me but I turned my head so she caught my cheek. "Aww, come on Gary, you're not still mad at me are you?" She asked, putting slightly and grabbed my shirt. "You know it didn't mean anything."

She twirled a lock of her hair and looked at me with big blue eyes and I had to resist the urge to roll mine. Before I answered Ghost stood up and cleared his throat, making Sarah's eyes narrow when she saw we weren't alone. "I'll leave you two to talk, see you around Roach."

"Ok." I nodded to him when he paused at the door and glanced at me, after a moment he nodded back before leaving. When the door closed shut, the inexplicable feeling of isolation hit me and I stepped back from Sarah. I didn't blame him for leaving though, this was going to painful enough without him watching.

"What's wrong baby?" Sarah asked, steeping towards me with a frown but I shook my head and kept out of her reach.

"Nothing, Sarah, just… nothing." I walked around her to the door and opened it, pausing as she called after me.

"What's wrong with me?"

I looked back into her blue eyes and before I could stop myself I replied, "Well for one thing your eyes aren't green." I left the room smiling to myself, leaving her to puzzle over that comment, not that she'd ever guess the meaning behind it. I stopped when Amber came round the corner and grinned at her. "Hey lil' sis." I teased playfully, she always hated me calling her that, even if I was older by a few minutes.

"Hey Gary, you seen your friend around?"

I frowned slightly, it wasn't like her to ignore the fact I'd called her 'lil' sis'. "Which one, Soap?"

"No not the Scottish one, the other one, with the mask." She laughed and I could see her eyes shining brightly and inwardly groaned.

"Amber don't do this."

"What?" She asked innocently, her tone telling a different story completely.

"You're not Ghost's type." _Trust me, I should know._

"So that's his name?" She asked, completely ignoring my warning.

"Yes his code name, I don't know his real on only Soap and Price do." I said impatiently, grabbing her arm gently. "Listen to me Amber, if you go after him, you'll end up getting hurt."

"I can take care of myself." She replied with a scowl before leaving.

"Amber!" I called after her but she ignored me. "Shit." I cursed, banging my head on the wall but soon regretted it when it started a headache. "Can my day get any worse?"


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15:

After my lovely conversation with Amber, I headed to the rec room, making a stop at the mess hall to grab a red bull. Drama was such an annoyance and always left me with a headache, not that banging my head on the wall helped either. I sighed audibly and sank onto the sofa.

"What's up with you mate?"

I jumped, finally realising Soap was in the room and shrugged. "Oh nothing, just Sarah being a pain in the ass and Amber's got a bit of a crush on Ghost, no big deal."

"Ok, ok." Soap returned to his book but stiffened after a moment, lowering it to meet my eyes. "What?"

"She was asking me about him and I know her well enough to know what that means. I told her she wasn't his type but she ignored me and said she'll take the chance." I explained.

"Sounds like someone else I know." Soap replied jokingly and I rolled my eyes.

"I know, but this is a completely different situation."

"I know, Ghost has a choice." Soap chuckled when I growled at him but I didn't return the insult I had ready as Ghost walked into the room and looked at us both in confusion.

"Did I miss something?" He asked after a moment, taking in Soap's smirk and my scowl. "What's wrong with Soap?"

"Nothing, he just found something funny, even though it's not." I replied curtly and Soap shook his head, finally calming down since he stopped smiling so widely.

"So what is it?" I didn't respond so Ghost looked at our captain who just shrugged before returning to me. "Roach?" He asked again, his voice taking a sharper edge which I knew meant he wasn't really asking.

I sighed and looked at him, noting Soap slipping out the room behind him, obviously not wanting to be involved further. "Amber likes you."

"Well that's nice, someone in your family actually likes me." He replied sarcastically, walking over to sit next to me. "What's so bad about that?"

"That's not what I meant." I replied stiffly and he finally caught on as he laughed, slapping my shoulder.

"Very funny Roach."

"I'm not joking around." I sighed again and looked at him. "She really does like you, as ridiculous as that apparently sounds."

He stopped laughed at that and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well that's… interesting?"

I raised an eyebrow at him, Ghost seemed to be contemplating this almost too hard. "You don't y'know, like her… do you?" I asked quietly, watching him carefully for his reaction. He paused, not responding for a moment and that was all I needed to know. Narrowing my eyes slightly a stood up and headed for the door.

"Roach c'mon, you don't seriously think I would-"

"I don't know Ghost." I replied, cutting him off and stopped at the door to turn and look at him. "Right now I can't deal with it though so just drop it." He nodded and I left, heading back to my room. When I got there I laid on my bed with a groan, running my hands through my hair. What Soap had said about Ghost having a choice worried me deeply, it was an irrational fear of course, but it was still there and made me doubt him.

After a while there was a knock at the door and I sat up slowly, frowning at it curiously. "Yeah?" I called, praying it wasn't Ghost because I didn't know what to say to him right now.

"It's Sarah."

I huffed loudly and stood up, actually I would've preferred it to be Ghost over Sarah. Opening the door I came face to face with her and she smiled which meant only one thing, she had something planned. "What is it?"

"I want to talk to you."

"So talk." I stepped out of my room, closing the door behind me, no way was I stupid enough to let her into my room. She would presume it was for more than just 'talking' and I didn't want to put that in Sarah's head. When she didn't respond I sighed. "What do you want to talk about Sarah?"

"Us." She said simply and I groaned.

"Sarah-" I started, but got cut off as she pushed me against the wall, pinning me down by the pressure point in my shoulder. It was my one weak spot and when someone pressed it, I froze up, unable to move. "Let go." I growled lowly, trying to imitate Ghost and scare her back enough so I could move away, but it didn't work as she just laughed.

"No, we both know here's something still between us. Don't let what happened ruin our relationship Gary, we are perfect for one another, just admit it. I know you think about it just give in already." She leaned forward and I pulled back, still having use of my neck, at least I managed to until my head hit the wall sharply.

I blinked dazedly, clearing my vision and my eyes widened when I focused over Sarah's shoulder to see Ghost stood watching us. He looked rigid, probably because he got the wrong impression from what was happened but as I opened my mouth to say something, he spun around and walked off.

"Sarah let go now!" I snapped, surprised when she pulled back slightly at my sudden outburst and relaxed the pressure on my shoulder. I managed to break free from her grip and ran after Ghost without an explanation to Sarah who watched me go in confusion.

After searching the base quickly, I couldn't find Ghost anywhere, his code name was ghost for a reason after all. When he wanted to disappear, he could stay in hiding for days, this wasn't the first time and probably not the last. I gave up for the time being, when Ghost wanted to talk, he would find me. I headed to the mess hall, pausing when I walked in and found Ghost talking to Amber who was laughing at something, her hand too close to Ghost's arm for comfort.

I walked over calmly, stopping in front of them and folded my arms. "What's going on?" I asked, unable to keep the ager out of my voice as it came out sharply.

Amber turned to glare at me before smiling at Ghost and standing up, grabbing my arm. "Excuse us Ghost." She said sweetly and I pulled a face, it was gross to watch. Amber pulled me away and I looked at Ghost, mouthing 'what the hell?' to which he replied with a shrug. "What the hell?" Amber asked, mirroring my words when we were outside the mess hall.

I grabbed her shoulder gently and sighed. "You're going to get hurt if you continue this, please, trust me."

She snorted, pushing me away and rolled her eyes. "What would you know about it, he likes me."

"Because I love-" I stopped abruptly and her eyes narrowed. _Shit, that was a close one. If I say I love Ghost, I'll be in deep shit from not just Amber, but everyone. _

"Please don't say you love me, we're not twelve anymore it's weird." I laughed, relieved she thought I meant her and relaxed slightly.

"I'm sorry but it's true, Ghost has a bad past and he's not one for emotions. I can't imagine he's going to be looking for a serious relationship with you."

"I'm still going to try." Amber replied stubbornly and I sighed, realising I wouldn't be able to talk her out of this.

"Ok, ok I give. But if the worst happens, I'm here for you. Don't get too attached."

"Thank you, now if you'll excuse me…" She made to go around me back into the mess hall but I stopper her by grabbing her arm.

"Not now, I need to talk to him, you can flirt later."

Amber huffed and pulled her arm free, glaring at me in annoyance. "Fine, I'll go talk to mum instead." With that she left and I sighed, I was pissing a lot of people off today.

I walked back into the mess hall to find Ghost was leaning against the counter calmly, waiting for either me or Amber to come back probably. "What the hell are you doing?!" I asked, unfortunately for him, it was me that came back.

"What?" He asked innocently and I had to resist the urge to punch him. If this turned into a fight I would come out worse, no doubt about that.

"She's my sister!" I hissed, surprising myself at how angry I sounded, maybe this was more jealousy than annoyance, but I wasn't about to admit that, especially not to Ghost.

"Yeah I know." Ghost pushed away from the counter to stand in front of me and looked down at me. "She's cute."

My eye twitched and I had to exhale slowly to calm myself down. "Fine if that's what you want." I said calmly, stepped away to the door. "You can have her because I'm done." I turned my back on him with that and left before Ghost could respond.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16:

I returned to my room, slamming the door behind me yet again, it was surprising the thing was still standing after all the slamming the past few weeks. Locking the door so no-one could come in a disturb me, I threw the key on the desk and scrubbed my face, sighing heavily before collapsing on the bed, thankful sleep took me a few moments later.

I wasn't sure how long I was out, but the next thing I knew I was being jolted awake by an insistent banging at my door and I groaned, why wouldn't anyone let me sleep? With a groan I rolled over to look at the clock, perfect, I'd been asleep two hours. "Go away!" I yelled, the words muffled as I buried my head under my pillow. "I want to sleep!"

"Roach open the door!" Great it was Ghost.

I refused to move, only uncovering my head to glare at the door, not that he could see it. "I want to sleep!"

"Well I want to talk!" He yelled back, banging on the door again and I cursed, it probably wouldn't hold much longer, especially against Ghost if he was really determined to get in here. "Roach, please." He said more quietly and with a huff I got up, grabbing the key to unlock the door and jerked it open harshly.

"What?"

"C'mon Roach, let me in."

"No, why should I?" I asked mockingly. "Shouldn't you b with Amber?" I went to shut the door but he stopped me, pushing his way in before shutting it himself. "Well come on in then." I knew I was being irrational, but I was too tired to care and I'd had enough bullshit to deal with for one day.

Ghost sighed, placing his shades on the side before pulling his mask off, it following moments later. He turned to look at me, his forehead furrowed slightly as he frowned. "What's your problem?"

"Oh, I don't know." I tapped my chin in mock confusion. "Let me think about it for a moment… oh yeah… you're flirting with my sister!" I stepped closer to him and shoved his chest roughly. "How do you think that makes me feel?"

He caught my hands and shook his head. "Well how do you think I felt when I saw you with your ex, or is she still an ex?" He asked, his own voice rising and he pushed me back.

"I'm not doing that, no way in hell would I get back with that psychopath! Isn't it obvious it's not her I want to be with?!" I stopped and pinched my nose, sighing heavily. I didn't want to start spilling my guts to Ghost now, it definitely wouldn't help the situation.

"So what did I walk in on earlier? You seemed a little cosy for just a chat." Ghost accused and I lowered my hand to glare at him again.

"Fine, she was trying to kiss me, but I pulled away. I couldn't _step _away because she was pushing my pressure point." I indicated at my shoulder and Ghost's scowl relaxed into a confused frown before turning into a guilty expression.

"So it wasn't your fault?" He asked quietly and I shook my head. "Oh god Gary… I'm so sorry." He reached out to me but I pushed his hand away.

"I don't care right now, just go, please."

Ghost's shoulders slumped in defeat when he finally realised I wasn't in the mood for talking and he grabbed his mask and shades before he left without another word. I shut the door behind him and sat stiffly down on my bed. I was still exhausted from my lack of sleep, but because of what had happened, I just couldn't fall asleep again.

The next day I took my mum into town, partly just because I knew she wanted to and partly so I could just escape for a few hours. Who knew how stressful the base could be with Ghost and my family under the same roof, and it had only been one day. In that one day our relationship had crumbled from what I thought was something pretty solid to pieces and I wasn't sure how to begin starting to put it back together.

The whole time though my mind was back at base, my dad and Sarah were probably planning their next move, Amber was more than likely flirting with ghost and Soap, well he was probably hiding out in his office not getting involved, how lucky for him. Not that shopping was any fun anyway, definitely not the distraction I had been hoping for. Mum brought tons of clothes and I was given the delightful task of carrying them all, it was so much fun and I was glad I agreed to this, can you feel the sarcasm?

We finally stopped at a small café to eat and I sighed in relief as I could finally put all the bags down and flexed my aching hands. I shifted uncomfortably in the seat, pulling on my collar, civilian clothes were something I didn't wear often and I rarely did undercover missions wearing them. After we ordered and the food arrived, I dug in quickly, after all carrying shopping was hungry work.

"Gary?" My mum asked after a few moments and I hummed in response since my mouth was full still. "What's going on between you and your friend with the mask?"

Whatever I was expecting, it wasn't that and she waited patiently as I choked and then cleared my throat. "Who Ghost, nothing why?"

She shrugged and looked at me with a slight frown. "I heard you arguing last night."

I didn't see her last night, it's a good thing she wasn't close enough to hear what we were saying, that would be awkward to explain. "What were you doing on the other side of base?"

"I wanted to talk to you, I didn't get the chance during the day. But when I found your room he was stood outside banging on your door shouting something. You let him in and I heard you arguing for a while before he left again. I didn't want to see you afterwards since it looked bad." She looked at me concerned and reached across the table to grasp my hand. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

"It's nothing mum, don't worry about it, just work stuff."

She saw through my lies instantly and I cursed mentally, damn I was never a good liar, at least, not to my family. I could lie pretty well in hostile conditions, after all, what good would I be if I couldn't keep the task force secrets?

"Is it to do with Sarah?" My mum knew I didn't love her anymore, and that we weren't getting back together, it was a shame she couldn't convince my dad though. When I shrugged she continued. "Amber?"

"Sorta…"

She sighed and looked at me sternly. "Gareth Sanderson, you tell me the truth right now and god forbid you lie to me, I'll know." I gulped at the threat, she was my mother after all. _What harm can it do to tell the truth? After all, I couldn't care less what Ghost thought right now. _

So I told her everything, about me and Ghost, how Amber likes him and what he saw between me and Sarah, causing him to flirt with Amber. I told her about our fight last night, how now I didn't know what to do, never being in this situation before. Once I'd finished, she sat silently for a few moments in which I pushed what was left of my lunch around my plate nervously. Eventually she cleared her throat and I looked up.

"Ok, when we get back, we're going to leave." She held a hand up when I went to protest. "We're causing stress between you two, besides your team comes back tomorrow anyway. It would be against protocol for us to bet here right?" When I nodded she smiled and continued. "Then you still have a few hours to fix things."

"You're… ok with it?" I asked hesitantly. "Y'know, because he's a guy and all that?"

"Of course." She smiled warmly and squeezed my hand. "Love is love, no matter the form."

I blushed and pulled away. "I never said I was in love with him." I muttered in embarrassment, cursing when I felt my cheeks heat up.

"You can't fool me Gary, I'm your mother remember. I've known you since the day you were born and I know you love him, despite what's happened recently." I nodded and we got ready to leave so I paid the bill and we headed back to the base.

When we got back we found Amber as I predicted, talking to Ghost in the mess hall again. She was leaning forward, talking to him earnestly and I was ashamed to admit I was pleased to see he wasn't reciprocating much. Our mum walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder and Amber immediately backed away from him. "Mum! I didn't know you'd be back so soon."

"We decided to call it a day." Her eyes met mine and she smiled. "Gary was struggling with all my shopping."

I huffed at that and folded my arms. "I can handle a few bags you know."

"Of course dear." She turned back to Amber and patted her shoulder. "Come on, it's time to pack, we're leaving."

"Mum!" She said indignantly, pointedly looking at Ghost who seemed more interested in the floor, but I knew he was still listening.

"Come on, no arguing let's go."

Amber groaned and got to her feet. "Fine, I guess I'll see you around Ghost."

"Guess so." He replied, nodding his head at them and I smiled at mum as she passed, Amber looking put out that her chat with Ghost had ended. I sighed and left before either of us said anything, now wasn't the time to talk things through, I had other people to see to first.

I found Sarah lounging in the rec room and lent against the door, knocking on it to gain her attention. She jumped up when she saw it was me and walked over with a big grin. "Finally decided to come talk to me Gary?"

"Only to tell you to pack your stuff because you're leaving. Better get to it or you'll leave things behind and I can't guarantee you'll ever see them again."

Sarah frowned and folded her arms, pouting childishly. "I'm not going, not without you."

I shook my head. "Sorry I'm not coming, this is where I belong, and you don't so you need to go too."

Her eyes brightened and she grabbed my arm suddenly. "Come with me, we can start again, somewhere new where no-one knows us. We can be whoever we want to be. Please Gary, give me another chance."

I looked down at her and smiled, pulling my arm free gently. "I can't, like I said I belong here. I don't love you anymore Sarah and to tell you the truth, I don't think I ever did truly love you. I've moved on and what I feel now, for this person, is more than I could ever feel for you."

Sarah's eyes narrowed and she glared at me. "Who could possibly be better than me? Is that what you meant by green eyes? Who is she?!"

"I'm not going to tell you so don't try. I can tell you that I won't leave them for you."

Her nostrils flared and for a moment she stood there angrily. Suddenly she stepped forward and slapped me hard, I can't say I wasn't expecting it so I didn't flinch, I'd had far worse happen then a slap to the face. "We're over Gary!" She yelled before leaving, slamming the door behind her.

"Oh no, I'm so heartbroken." I muttered sarcastically before sighing in satisfaction, she finally understood now hopefully she would leave me the hell alone. I sat down and rubbed my face, a heavy weight from my shoulders lifted. "Finally."

Hearing a car horn honk after about an hour, I stood and went outside to find everyone sat comfortably in the car. I walked over and said my goodbyes, Sarah thankfully ignoring me. As I hugged Amber I whispered lowly to her so no-one else heard. "How did it go with Ghost?"

"He's impossible!"

I chuckled and pulled back to roll my eyes at her. "I tried to warn you."

"Yeah I know, don't say I told you so or I'll kill you." She sighed and smiled at me. "See you around bro."

"See you soon sis." I stood back and waved as the car left before going to my room. I knew I needed to talk to Ghost but I really needed some time to think and sleep before I did. Entering the room I fell on the bed and fell asleep within seconds, still fully clothed.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17:

I finally, finally after so long, got a full night's sleep. It might seem like nothing but that in my opinion was an achievement. When I woke up I was feeling recharged and with my new found energy I hit the pitt and after a few hours, I even managed to shave five seconds off my best time, result.

Of course, after the workout I had sweated bucket loads and now stunk pretty bad so headed for the showers. With the team coming back today I didn't want to greet them all smelling like a donkey's arse, they would never let me live it down. Half an hour later I was back in my room dressing for the day, now stink free.

I was pulling on a clean shirt when someone knocked on the door and paused, managing to pull my head out so I could talk. "Yeah?"

"It's Ghost, Soap's telling the others so come on."

_Oh shit, I forgot to talk to Ghost, not good he's probably pissed off at me now. _I shivered at the thought, Ghost was one scary man when he wanted to be. "Oh, ok. Give me a sec." I finished pulling my shirt on and grabbed my shoes before opening the door and smiled nervously at him. "Hey."

Ghost looked at me for a moment before turning and walking down the corridor. "Let's go." I winced slightly and quickly followed, stumbling slightly as I put my shoes on whilst walking, proud to say I didn't fall over. We stopped outside the rec room and Ghost spared a glance at me over his shoulder. "Wait here."

"Ok?" He slipped inside the room and shut the door in my face. _Ouch, yes he's definitely pissed. Going to have fun later with that._ I crept closer to the door and pressed my ear to it, listening quietly.

"Why are we here Roach?" That was Chemo, I was sure of it and he didn't sound good.

"We're here to talk about Roach." At that the room went deadly silent and I could feel the heavy atmosphere press on the room.

"Hey Ghost, what happened to you, you were late?" Meat must have noticed Ghost's arrival then since he spoke up to him.

"I'll let Soap explain." Ghost replied shortly, leaving no room for questioning.

"Ok… Soap?"

Soap sighed and I heard footsteps approaching the door so stepped back. "I think there's an easier way to do this than explain." He opened the door and looked at me. "Ready?" I nodded and he went back in, leaving the door open for me to follow.

I sighed and walked in, smiling sheepishly at the guys when they looked at me with mirrored stunned expressions. "Hey guys."

"Roach!"

"Wow man!"

"Glad to see you made it!"

They surrounded me and I lost most of the words said, my back soon becoming numb from all the slaps. Eventually I managed to break free and looked around to see Soap leaning against a table smiling, but Ghost was nowhere to be seen, he must have slipped out at some point. Before I could think further about this, Scarecrow shouted out, "This calls for a party!" and with a loud cheer taken up by everyone, we headed outside with the cooler of beer.

Any thoughts of Ghost were soon driven form my mind as we started drinking and before I knew it, it had been two hours. I looked up to see he still hadn't made an appearance and frowned, I should really find him and talk to him. I started backing away, smiling apologetically when I was caught. "Sorry guys, I'm going to turn in for the night."

"Aww Roach…"

"C'mon man, one more beer."

I ducked as one was thrown my way before running inside before they could do some real damage. With a sigh I headed for the mess hall, before I talked to Ghost I needed to sober up a bit, which called for coffee. When I entered the room though, I found Ghost sitting a one of the tables, a bottle of beer in his hands and his mask lying on the table so he could eventually drink it, since I noticed the bottle was still full.

He looked up as the door clicked shut, scowling when he saw it was me. "What do you want?" He asked sharply and I shrugged, moving to the other side of the room.

"Well for one, I came here for coffee but since you're here that's saves me a job of finding you." I replied calmly, fixing two cups and walked over to Ghost, sitting down opposite him and slid him one of the cups. "Drink that since you obviously don't want the beer."

"So why did you want me?" Ghost asked, not removing his hands from the bottle, ignoring the cup of coffee.

I cleared my throat, trying hard not to think about what that sentence could imply. Taking a deep gulp of the coffee it helped clear my head slightly. "About everything's that happened the past few days really."

"Roach." Ghost said my name calmly and I looked at him questioningly as he sighed. "I think… hell I don't know, this probably wouldn't have worked anyway. It's better if we just stay friends yeah?"

"Oh." I looked at him in surprise, that wasn't what I was expecting at all. Maybe a bit of yelling and usual Ghost tantruming but this, not so much. "Well… ok then, I guess that's all there is to say." Ghost pulled a face, probably at my drawn expression but I didn't really care. Finishing the coffee I stood up and quickly left the room to go back to mine, I told everyone I was going to bed so I might as well.

Locking the door behind me I leant against it and exhaled heavily, rubbing my face._ I knew getting involved with Ghost was a bad idea, no good could have ever come from it. Maybe he never really felt anything for me, maybe it was pity._ I flinched at the thought and shook my head before crawling into bed.

It had been about ten minutes I think, and I was just falling asleep when someone knocked on the door. I groaned and sat up to glare at it, why was I not allowed to sleep? Without even asking I curled up again, not in the mood for late time visitors tonight.

"Roach open the door!" I scoffed and buried my head under my pillow, of course it was Ghost, why was I not surprised?


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18:

I didn't answer as Ghost continued knocking on the door, being drunk and more than annoyed at someone wasn't a good combination for talking. I didn't want to start saying shit I was sure to regret in the morning. "Roach open the fucking door!" but of course Ghost wouldn't take no for an answer and continued banging loudly. I ignored him, fisting the pillow tightly over my head to muffle the sound. "Roach please, I know you're in there, talk to me."

This time he spoke more calmly, I only just caught the words and almost got up but decided against it when my head span as I turned over. Returning to my original position and closed my eyes, eventually falling asleep to the sound of Ghost hammering at the door. Waking up early the next day, it was quiet and I frowned, rolling over to look at the door, Ghost had given up at some point by the looks of it.

I groaned and got up, changing quickly before glancing at the clock to see it was only 3:00am, so much for a good night's sleep. Running a hand through my hair to flatten it I opened the door, tripping over something blocking the doorway. Turning around I saw it was Ghost, curled up in a ball in front of the door and sighed.

_He must have really wanted to talk last night, shit now I feel kinda bad for ignoring him. _Approaching the sleeping man, I crouched down next to him and shook his shoulder. "Ghost?" I murmured and he mumbled something intelligible. I smiled wryly, this was something I wasn't used to, a vulnerable Ghost. "C'mon Ghost, time to wake up."

He groaned, pushing at my hand. "Five more minutes!" I sighed, standing up to nudge him with my foot. "Wake up lazy arse!"

"Five minutes!"

Shaking my head, I left him to it, reaching over him to close the door quietly before heading to the mess hall for yet another coffee, I swear that stuff is addicting. Fixing two cups up I made my way back to my room and paused in front of Ghost. Crouching down next to him again, I stuck one of the coffees under his nose and as predicted, he sat up after a few moments and looked around in confusion.

"Come on." I handed him the coffee and stood up, going inside my room and left the door open for him to follow which he did after a minute. He closed the door and locked it behind him before turning to me, pulling his mask and shades off to set on the side. I sat on the bed, leaving Ghost to take the chair, I waited until he was sat to talk. "Well, what is it?"

I asked and he scowled at me. "You left me outside, banging on your blood door, for two hours."

"You could've stopped any time." I replied with a shrug, taking a sip of my drink before setting it down to look at Ghost expectantly. "I didn't want to talk, so I didn't answer the door. Don't get pissy with me because you were the one who ended things anyway so excuse me for not wanting to talk to you straight afterwards." He flinched and I felt a pang of guilt before quickly shoving it off, I had every right to play the guilt card.

"Gary…" Ghost paused and sighed, setting his cup down to rub his head. "I'm sorry ok!" He blurted out, looking at me again. "I shouldn't have said such a shitty thing, I didn't mean it, not at all. I just… I dunno how to explain it, I was just angry I guess."

I snorted. "Yeah and I know you don't think rationally when you lose your cool."

Ghost chuckled and sighed again. "Yeah I know, and I'm not good this kind of thing, I screw up badly. Why do you think I avoid relationships at all costs? I make bad decisions, hurt people close to me and you've been the first person I've let in in a long time. You have no idea how bad I feel for screwing up again."

Ok, now I really felt bad, damn Ghost for being able to put on such an apology. I reached over and grabbed his hands, smiling softly when his eyes met mine. "Ok, shut up now yeah? It doesn't suit you talking emotions."

Ghost chuckled and held my hands tightly. "Does that mean you'll forgive me?" He asked quietly and after a moment I nodded. He grinned widely and I had to admit, it was a heart-breaking smile and I couldn't help but grin back.

I pulled on his hands and Ghost stood up, joining me on the bed. He hesitated before gently brushing a hand through my hair and pulled me closer. Now it was my turn to hesitate before touching his face, running my fingers down one of his scars. "Ghost…" I paused, reaching down to pull his tags out to read them. "Simon Riley huh? So that's your name."

He chuckled and pulled back, raising an eyebrow at me. "You didn't know my name?" I shook my head and he sighed. "Well you know now, just don't tell nobody, I'll have to kill you if you do."

I rolled my eyes and let go of the tags. "Sure thing, I promise I won't tell."

"Mmm, good." His hand was still in my hair so he pulled me closer, our noses brushing together. "Gary?"

"Yeah?" I asked, my mind short circuiting slightly, how Ghost had this effect on me I don't know.

He just smiled, tilting my head up before kissing me. Yeah, at that my brain definitely short circuited. I grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer and soon found myself lying back on the bed, at that point Ghost pulled back and grinned widely. "I don't think we can just be friends, you?"

I shook my head. "No." I whispered and leaned forward, kissing him again quickly. "Definitely not." Ghost laughed, laying down next to me and I rolled over to press against his side, smiling when he draped an arm over my side. Within minutes we were both asleep.

I woke up first and smiled when I found I was still in Ghost's arms, gently detangling myself as to not wake up. Glancing at the clock, I smiled in satisfaction to see we'd slept another three hours and stretched, the joints in my back popping. Of course, my stealthiness made no difference as the comms rang. "Everyone to the briefing room, we've got an important mission." Price's voice rang out over the base, cutting off when the comms went dead.

At the sound of Price's voice, Ghost had jumped violently and twisted around, getting caught in the bed sheets and ended up falling onto the floor. I tried not to laugh, I really did but I couldn't help a small laugh passing through my lips. Ghost groaned and sat up, turning to glare at me but it didn't have the same effect as usual since his hair was sticking up in several directions and half his face still puffy from sleeping on his side. So of course it just made me laugh harder.

Ghost growled, untangling himself from the sheet to launch himself at me and we both crashed to the floor, this effectively stopped me laughing as it knocked all the air out of me. I gasped, shoving on his chest whilst he just smirked at me. "Ghost come on, we've gotta get to the briefing room and I can't breathe!"

He chuckled, pulling me to my feet and kissed my head. I opened my mouth, a small noise coming out but I couldn't think of any words to say at the affectionate gesture. "Ok, let's go." He headed for the door and I snapped out of my stupor as e unlocked it.

"Wait a second."

"What?" Ghost asked, turning to look at me questioningly and I quickly grabbed his shades and mask from the desk, throwing at him to catch with ease. "Oh right, damn I almost forgot, shit that wouldn't have gone down well."

"You really are hopeless sometimes." I sighed, shaking my head and walked over to stand next to him. "Aren't you going to put them on?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah sure thing." He looked up at me and smiled, leaning in to kiss me quickly before pulling the mask on, sliding his shades into place. "How do I look?"

"Like your usual, psychopathic self."

"Perfect." I snorted and stepped back so Ghost could open the door but he paused as he touched the handle. "Check outside first would ya? Don't want to be caught now do we?"

"Good call." I opened the door and peeked outside, trying to make it look as casual as possible, which failed epically. Hell it was my room, why would I have to look sneaky if I wasn't hiding something? Luckily though no-one was around and Ghost poked his head out too. "It's clear." I muttered, nudging him in the ribs to step back and allow me to open the door fully so we could both get out.

Locking the door behind us, I fell in step beside Ghost as we walked to the briefing room. We entered together and sat down next to Soap, who raised an eyebrow at us both. "Again, really?"

Ghost shrugged and leaned back casually. "Your point being?" He looked at Price pointed and I chuckled, just remembering Ghost didn't know that Price was in on this little secret.

"Price knows."

Ghost jerked at my comment and looked at me, before turning to Soap and bristled slightly. "Ah, actually I don't think I know the whole story here?" Price commented, joining us at the table.

"You're right mate." Soap brushed off Ghost's deadly aura, he was definitely a hard bastard because if Ghost did that to me, I'd be trembling in a corner right now.

"So… what does he know?" Ghost asked in a low voice and Price responded before Soap could.

"That Roach has a thing for you and you _didn't _know. I take it you do know?" Ghost nodded and he looked at us in surprise. "And you're ok with that?"

Soap snorted. "He's more than ok with it." He ducked when Ghost threw a pen at him and snorted. "Too slow." Ghost just growled I response and Price just looked bewildered at us all.

"No… wait a minute… you're not… are you?" He asked in confusion and I chuckled, seeing Price like this was definitely something new and very amusing. I nodded, since Ghost and Soap were preoccupied with each other still. "Wow Ghost, I never knew-"

"Don't say the fucking bug joke!"

Price looked at him in surprise. "How did you know?" He just groaned in reply, banging his head on the table and I laughed, indicating at Soap who smiled proudly. "Soap!"

"Sorry Price, I had to say it."

"Fine." Price turned to look at me and Ghost again. "But you two need to know-"

"We already know, mission first etcetera etcetera, Soap beat you to it again."

"Damn it Soap, stay the hell away from me, I don't want a clone."

Soap sighed and rubbed his chin. "I know, I'm tuning into you, aint it horrible?"

"So who else knows?"

"Join the party, we're it."

"Well let's keep it that way, the less people know, the better."

We all nodded in agreement, the conversation coming to a close as the door opened and the team walked in. For once I was glad I left the party early, everyone had the identical look of too hung-over and not enough sleep etched onto their faces. The plane ride was going to be fun for them. Price stood up and began the briefing, much to everyone's dismay.

"Ok team we clear, get in, grab the HVI and get out. I want a clean job, kill the Tango's in and out before reinforcement arrive. Got it?" Price asked, nodding in satisfaction as the team mumbled their replies and stood up to leave and get ready.

"Great, let's get going." Soap stood up and clapped his hands together, grinning widely before turning his radio on. "Nikolai, is the heli ready?"

"Yes Soap, let us get this over with." Nikolai heavy accented voice rang through the comms and Soap nodded, turning it off again. Nikolai and Price were the only one who called him Soap during missions, it wasn't surprisingly really, after all they'd been through with Zakahaev, they'd formed a bond and god knows it helped us out in a lot of missions. Nikolai was one hell of a pilot, not many would take on the zones he had and gotten out of there alive with their plane and team still intact.

"Ok team, let's go." And with that the remaining few of us stood and left for the armoury to gear up.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19:

The heli ride was only two hours, petty good in my opinion sine they could last several hours commonly, even better was the fact that we weren't blown up, and I love it when the ride comes together like that. We were heading out to someone in Amazonia, so the security detail were more than likely local militia which was easy enough since they had crap aiming.

Once we'd landed, we regroup around Price who began giving orders, much to Soap's dismay and I chuckled lightly, Soap loved being in charge but with Price around, that was never going to happen. "Ok team, let's make a three meter spread and fan out to the target building." We obliged and after about ten minutes, we were at the clearing where a building stood at the centre. It was a small, shabby looking warehouse with a basement and no upper floor, perfect for interrogation location since no-one would hear their screams.

Price motioned for me and Soap to move up one of the doors, him and Ghost moving to the other. Standing either side of the door, Soap set the charge and looked at me and nodded. I nodded in reply and braced myself as he blew the charge, a second one blowing a moment later on the other side of the building ant we swept and cleared the first floor which wasn't a problem since there was only low key security protecting the place.

The only problem we found when we entered was there was a lot of corners for the militia to hide in and Price of course, like his usual self, pointed this out to us. "Don't forget to check those corners!" I snorted, casting a sideways glance at Ghost who held up one finger and chuckled. After it was clear, Soap and Price headed for the basement so I tagged along, Ghost had things under control anyway so I wasn't needed.

There was only one person in the basement, a male figure who had a bag over their head so we couldn't identify him by sight. He was chained to a chair in the centre of the room and as Price strode over to him I glanced around at the room. There weren't any instruments of sort in sight so this guy was lucky, he'd probably only received a light torture, a beating at most.

Price stood in front of him for a moment before speaking. "Golden."

"Eagle." The man replied, the word muffled by the bag but Price nodded in satisfaction, untying him from the chair.

"This is our man, now let's get the hell out of here before-"

"Sir we've got militia incoming!" Ghost yelled, running down the steps to find us. "Closing in on all directions so gunna need your help."

Price nodded and Ghost disappeared back upstairs, probably to ready everyone for the incoming assault. "Right, Soap you stay here and protect this guy, if he dies this will have been for nothing. Roach, come on get your ass upstairs and help out."

I nodded, following him up and walked over to Ghost who was peering out the window. "How close are they?" My question was answered as the glass shattered, a bullet whizzing past my head.

"That answer your question?" Ghost asked and I snorted, I could hear the grin that was hidden beneath his mask. I crouched down next to him and after a few moments of silence, all hell broke loose. A barrage of bullets tore through the front wall, Ghost had to grab my arm and yank me back against him to avoid becoming Swiss cheese. "Careful Roach, don't go dying on me." He murmured into my ear and I grinned.

"You wish sir, I'm called Roach for a reason remember?" He snorted but our conversation got cut short as the building was stormed by the militia. Like I said before, they had crap aiming so it only took about ten minutes for them to either be dead or retreating. "See, no worries." I commented, standing up and brushing my trouser clean. "You worry too much."

"You're accident prone so it's hard not to." Ghost replied, shooting a few more bullets and taking out one of the last militia still in range. "Got ya bastard!"

"Nice." Poet commented, walking over to us and grinned at me. "Lucky Ghost was there or you'd be cheese. Always you aint it Roach?"

"What can I say, I have a knack for being a target." I joked and Poet laughed lightly. Even though we had just been in a tight situation, a bit of humour always helped lighten the mood. There was a loud clattering and we spun around, guns pointed but relaxed when it was only Soap dragging the HVI upstairs.

"Put them things away before you hurt someone muppets." Shaking his head, Soap went over to Price. "We should head for the EZ before more of them come back."

Price nodded and stood up. "Good call, this place isn't safe anymore, come on then, let's go." He took over watch on the HVI and we started our trek back to Nikolai. Everything was going well up to this point, at least, that was until we reached the clearing where Nikolai had parked and our ride was blown up in our faces.

"Nikolai!" Soap yelled, running to the wreckage to search for the Russian. He reappeared a moment later, dragging Nikolai from the wreckage who looked thankfully, relatively unharmed.

Price set the HVI behind a piece of the wreckage and turned to us. "Right, they wanted us out in the open and now we are. Give it ten minutes and they will be swarming this area." At his words we jumped into action, setting up a defensive barrier and sharing out our supplies so we could make a good stand off against them.

Ghost came and crouched next to me, handing me another mag and sighed. "Don't get hurt."

"You're lack of confidence in me is really comforting, you know that?" I glanced at him and grinned when he just looked at me blankly, well I guessed blankly since he didn't say anything or give an indication of any sort. "I'll be fine Ghost, keep this up and people will start noticing something's up between us."

He groaned and sat down, glancing around to see everyone was preoccupied and not paying us any attention. "Yeah right, you bunch of idiots wouldn't notice something was wrong until it smacked you in the face. Unless we start fucking in front of them, I doubt anyone will notice."

I blushed at that, dropping my mag in surprise and cursed, quickly snatching it up again as Ghost chuckled. "Idiot, don't say crude shit like that, if someone hears..."

"No-one's listening so stop worrying." Ghost paused and peered over the wreckage we were taking cover behind as it went silent. "They're here." I shoved the mag into my gun and sighed, rolling my shoulders before kneeling myself and aiming my gun into the trees. "Wait a second…" Ghost muttered, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Shit, duck!"

He threw himself on top of me and we tumbled to the floor as an RPG flew overhead, narrowly missing where we were previously looking out. Ghost lifted himself off me and with his shades askew, I saw him wink before putting them right and grabbing his gun. "Fucking flirt." I grumbled, getting up myself to help push the oncoming militia back.

Unlike before, these guys were more skilled than their predecessors so we had our work cut out for us this time. "Ozone is down, I repeat, Ozone is down!" I heard Poet yell and risked a glance to see he was dragging the injured man away from the front line to a more covered area.

"Wankers!" Ghost yelled and I returned to helping him.

"How many left?"

"I count fifteen at the most." Ghost ducked, changing his mag and glanced at me.

"We can take them no problem." I said and ducked down next to him.

"Sure, nothing new about being outnumbered or being outgunned!"

"Stay frosty Ghost!" Soap yelled, taking cover a few meters away, he had seen to Nikolai and had now decided to finally help out. "On my count we take them down!" We both nodded in reply, the amount of bullets flying overhead now making it impossible to talk to our Captain. Getting into position I waited for Soap's call. "Now!" He yelled after a moment and we both stood, taking down several of them whilst the team polished off the rest, no sweat.

I laughed, sliding down the wreckage to collapse on the floor and Ghost joined me after a moment. "See, I can take care of myself." He snorted but didn't say anything as Soap came over and looked at us both with a raised eyebrow.

"Come on, evac' choppers will be here in a minute, we need to move to the secondary EZ." He walked off to help Nikolai to his feet and we followed after him with the rest of the team. The choppers arrived as we got to the zone and we all piled on. I ended up in the main chopper with Soap, Price, Ghost, Nikolai and the HVI.

Once we lifted off and were a safe distance away Price deemed it safe to finally reveal the HVI's identity and pulled the bag off his head. We all looked at him in shock and I felt my blood run cold. "Shepherd?" Price asked in surprise.

"Price." He replied curtly.

"Sir!"

"MacTavish." Me and Ghost stayed silent, Nikolai was up front with the pilot so he didn't know what was going on. Last I heard Shepherd was KIA, obviously someone needed their medicals skills examining if they made that mistake. When Shepherd's eyes slid over to me I stiffened, I never liked him, and there was just something about him that made my skin crawl. Even if he was one of the good guys, I would never trust him. "Well isn't this cosy." I really, _really _didn't miss that self-absorbed, smug, narcissistic voice.

"Aren't you supposed to be dead?" Price questioned suspiciously and Shepherd returned to looking at him.

"Well Price, I thought I would come back and haunt you. It's not like I've got better things to do." It was common knowledge Price and Shepherd hated each other guts, the only fact that they were on the same side stopping them form killing each other. I bet if Price had known who the HVI was he would've tried a lot less to keep him alive.

After an uncomfortable, and awkward to say the least, journey back to base, we finally landed and everyone one our heli of high rank, meaning everyone excluding me and Nikolai, heading for the briefing rom. I nodded to Nikolai who patted my shoulder as I walked passed back to base with everyone else.

"Was that, General Shepherd?" Meat asked, falling in step beside me and I nodded. "Shit, I thought he was KIA, shame, I liked him a lot better dead."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Didn't we all? Catch up with you tomorrow mate, it's been a long day." I parted from the team and headed for the barracks when we reached base and entered my room with a heavy sigh. Stripping out of my mud caked clothes down to my boxers, I threw them in the laundry basket which was in definite need of doing and fell onto my bed, groaning in satisfaction as I could finally relax my aching muscles. And then, of course, there was a knock at the door and I groaned louder. "Who the fuck is it?"

"Ghost." Getting up, I opened the door, more than a little surprised to see he wasn't wearing his mask or shades. "Everything ok?" I asked cautiously and he shrugged.

"Mind if I come in?"

"You're asking? That's gotta be a first." Ghost smiled wryly and I stepped to the side, letting him in before closing the door. "So what's up, why aren't you in the meeting?"

"It's finished, and it was a pile of crap, Shepherd being his usual wanker self." Ghost's hand clenched, his knuckles turning white and I frowned, something was definitely bothering him. I walked over to him and gently squeezed his arm and he sighed, slowly relaxing his grip and looked at me. "Why do I have to be dragged into stupid meetings?"

I grinned at that and poked his chest. "Because you're the _Lieutenant_, second in command all that stuff."

"Hah, only because I'm a better shot than the rest of you."

I held up my hands in a surrendering gesture. "Fine, fine, no need to insult." I lowered them, blushing when I saw Ghost was definitely checking me out and for once, I was glad I was in such good shape. "So… what did you want?"

"Huh?" He returned to looking at my face and frowned, I rolled my eyes.

"When someone knocks on the door, it usually means they want something."

Ghost snorted and looked at my table, tapping it lightly. "Gary you know I love you… right?"

I was slightly taken aback by that, well yeah I knew it, but damn, he'd never said it outright to me before like that. "Yeah?"

"Just don't forget that, no matter what promise me you won't."

"Sure." I grabbed his hand, stopping the insistent tapping. "What's got into you?"

Ghost looked at me, smiling softly and I felt my heart stutter painfully at the sight. "Say my name would you?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Ghost?"

He chuckled and threaded our fingers together. "No," He murmured softly, looking into my eyes. "My real name."

"Simon." Just like that, something about him changed, his expression softened and I realised I'd broken down part of his shield. There wasn't a Ghost anymore, the man stood before me was Simon Riley, and that was it, no-one else. "Simon…" I murmured his name again, pulling my hand free to grab his collar. "I love you too, don't forget that."

He smiled. "Never." He stated simply before kissing me and I groaned as his fingers dug into my hair. I frowned in confusion when he pulled back and looked at him confused. "You make me feel human Gary, something I haven't felt in years and I don't want to let it, _you_, go."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I know, I won't let you anyway." Again he pulled away, stepping away from me to remove his boots, his jacket soon following and I felt my face heat up when I realised what was about to happen. "You ok with doing this?" He asked when catching sight of my face.

"Uh, yeah of course." I grinned, moving to sit on the bed and after a moment Simon joined me, now also in his underwear. I could now see the extent of his scarring as before, I only knew it continued but it continued all the way down the right side of his body. I looked up to see Simon was watching and smiled, letting him know I was fine with it, after all, scars were evidence of survival and that's exactly what he was, a survivor.

"I want you to know something first." When I nodded, he sighed and continued. "About Amber, I only flirted with her to make you feel what I felt when I saw you with Sarah. That, I realise now was stupid and I hope you forgive me for it because I could never love her the way I love you, or anyone for that matter."

I grasped his face, pulling him into another kiss, pushing him back onto the bed before leaning over him and smiled. "Idiot I already forgave you now shut up and kiss me." Simon snorted but obliged, rolling me over so he was leaning over me. "Wait, there is one thing…" I blushed and looked at him shyly. "I've never uh, slept with a guy before."

He raised an eyebrow at that before shrugging. "Don't worry Gary, I'll make it a night you won't ever forget."

And that, was exactly what he did.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20:

Waking up the next morning was a new experience, and I had to admit I kinda liked it. I had woken up with previous partners before, Sarah included, but this was different, for one thing I was the one being held and I actually liked the change. I woke up brain fuzzy, not realising what was happening when I felt something heavy draped across my waist and panicked slightly, opening my eyes quickly to find it was a heavily scarred arm and relaxed, realising it was Simon.

He drew me closer when I shifted, mumbling something incoherently before settling back down and I smiled, quite content to stay where I was for a while. Who would've thought the infamous Ghost, was a cuddler? After a while, I started getting restless, sometimes being still just wasn't my thing, so I carefully untangled myself and crept out of the bed as to not wake him, somehow I don't think he'd be impressed if I did.

Simon mumbled something again and rolled over and I caught sight of him smiling and smiled myself, hopefully he was dreaming about something good. I changed quietly, replaying last night in my head when I suddenly thought of something. _Did he have his mask last night? From what I remember… no, perfect. _

Sighing exasperatedly, I looked at my desk and groaned, it was littered with crap. After several minutes of hasty searching I finally found my sticky notes, god knows when the last time I used them, probably why I couldn't find them. I scribbled a quick note to Simon to let him know I was going to find his mask and stood up, looking around to find a good place to put it. I grinned when my eyes landed on Simon and grinned, carefully sticking it to his forehead.

Finding his keys in his trousers, I pocketed them before grabbing my own to lock the door behind me when I left. It would take way too much explanations if someone walked into my room and saw Simon asleep in my bed, not that they would know how he was unless it was Soap or Price. Still, not taking the chance I turned and locked the door behind me. Turning back through, I got a bad shock. "What the hell?!" I yelled when I almost head butted Shepherd.

"We need to talk."

I gulped, praying he didn't see Simon in my room, I'm pretty sure Shepherd would know his true identity. "Yes sir?"

He frowned and indicated at my room. "Can we go in?"

"Oh no." I shook my head vigorously. "Definitely not habitable, I wouldn't want to subject you to that sir."

He sighed and gave me a small frown before turning around and walking down the corridor, me following after a moment. "Fine, we'll take MacTavish's office." _Soap is not going to like this. _Was the only thing I could think as we headed towards his office. Shepherd strode in without even knocking and I almost scoffed, catching myself in time and saw Soap look up with a frown. No-one showed the Captain that much disrespect, that was, unless they were pompous, arrogant jerks like Shepherd.

"Sir?" He asked in confusion, his eyes flitting to me quickly before setting down his pen. "What's this about?"

"We're going to need your office MacTavish. Sanderson, sit." He indicated at a chair and I sat down quickly like an obedient dog, shrugging when Soap sent me a confused look. Like I had any clue as to what this was about. Soap got up to leave but Shepherd stopped him. "You're needed here too."

"Ok?" Soap sat in a chair next to me, allowing Shepherd to take his office chair. "So?"

"Not yet, we need one more person." We waited in silence and a few minutes later, Price strode into the room.

"You called for me?"

"Good Price, now you've arrived we can start." Price and Soap shared a look, this couldn't be good if they had no clue what was going on. "I want to talk to you about Lieutenant Riley." Shepherd smiled when we all stiffened, faces going neutral. "Riley's been acting… unusual of late, don't you think? At least compared to the last time I saw him. Sneaking around in the middle of the night…" Soap glanced at me but I showed no reaction, watching Shepherd apprehensively. "…and not being in his room this morning." This time Price looked at me and I was trying really hard not to shown any signs, if Shepherd caught on, we were all screwed. "I think you know why."

No-one replied for a moment, then Soap began. "Ghost has been-"

"-training hard lately." Price finished quickly. "Must give him peace of mind, it's been a stressful few weeks. Almost losing one of his subordinates, not enough missions, he just needs to work a few things out. Being stuck on this base is like being at a fairground after a week or so being cooped up, team turns into a bunch of kids and that isn't Ghost's scene."

We all waited anxiously, holding our breath and Shepherd considered this. "Ok, fine, you're all excused."

We got up and left quickly, Price shutting the door behind us. Soap turned and looked at the door, before looking at us. "Did I just get kicked out of my own office?" He asked incredulously.

"Yeah you did, but we got bigger things to worry about." Price looked at me and I smiled nervously. "Where's Ghost?"

"He's um, he's in my room?" I told them quietly and both of them looked surprised at that.

"I really don't want to know." Price commented, shaking his head with a sigh. "Ok, Roach go get him moving and out training. If we want Shepherd to believe this, we've got to make it believable." I nodded and started to walk away but Price called after me. "Also you two need to keep your distance whilst Shepherd is here. It won't end well for any of us if he finds out."

"Yeah I know, we'll keep our distance." I called back, heading back to my room. Halfway there I remembered the original reason I left my room and cursed, changing direction to make a detour to Simon's room first. Unlocking the door, I paused when I went inside, if I didn't know any better, I wouldn't think this was someone's room. There were no signs of personal items, a clean bed, a laptop sat on the desk and his mask and shades next to it.

I quickly grabbed them and scoffed at the laptop, perks of being the Lieutenant I supposed, laptops were banned on base for security reasons. It was surprising we were allowed phones, even if they were prehistoric dinosaurs so they couldn't be tracked. Returning to my room I found Simon fully dressed and sat waiting for me.

"You took your time?" He questioned and I smiled, relaxing at the sound of his familiar cockney accent. "What happened?" He asked, catching sight of my drawn expression.

I sighed, setting his mask and shades on the side. "Shepherd wanted to talk to me, Soap and Price."

"So, why wasn't I invited?"

"Because it was about you."

He froze at that, eyes widening slightly and I could practically see the shields being put back in place as Ghost returned. "What about me?"

"Calm down, he wanted to know why you were sneaking around last night, where you were this morning, just your odd behaviour. Price told him you've been training more so you need to get out there, now." I picked up the mask, pushing it into his hands. "So get moving already."

He took it and looked down at the mask with a sigh. "I shouldn't have come last night. He murmured, fisting it tightly. "Things could get very bad, very quick."

I grabbed his hands and smiled at him. "Don't say that, last night was amazing, don't regret it. We just can't be together until Shepherd leaves, simple."

"Right, yeah." Ghost nodded, regaining his usual manner and put the mask on, grabbing his shades to finish the image. Turning to the door, he stopped and sighed, glancing at me. "Door?"

"Right." I scooted around him and peered outside, sighing in relief when I found the corridor empty. "It's clear, let's go."

Leaving the room, Ghost closed the door behind us and we set off down the hallway, only going a few meters before the comms rang through the base. "Price, MacTavish, Riley and Sanderson to the briefing room, now." Shepherd's voice rang out ominously, cutting off as he shut the comms down.

"Or, we could go there instead?" I glanced at Ghost worried and he sighed, gently patting my arm.

"We better go, or we'll be in even more shit." We made our way quickly to the briefing room but when we reached the doors, Ghost stopped so I turned to look at him questioningly. "We can't go in together, that will be even more suspicious. I'll wait five minutes and then come in." I nodded and entered alone, making sure Ghost was out of view first and shut the door before walking over and taking a seat beside Soap. He came in exactly five minutes afterwards, taking a seat across from me next to Price.

We all glanced at each other anxiously, Ghost tensing suddenly when Shepherd materialised out of the darkness like the overgrown bat he was. "I have an announcement to make." We stayed silent, waiting for Shepherd's verdict. "Riley, I think it's time you retired."

Again, no-one spoke for several minutes before Ghost responded. "What sir?"

"It's time you retired, it became obvious to me yesterday that your past is catching up to you and you've become a liability to the team. I can't afford to lose anyone because you're distracted."

"I assure you sir, my past is staying firmly where it belongs." Ghost stood up and turned to Shepherd. "There's nothing wrong with me."

"Shepherd, Ghost's work has been as excellent as usual."

"Shut up Price."

"Sir, Ghost hasn't-"

"Be quiet MacTavish!"

I knew I wouldn't be able to change his mind, or say anything of importance but I still had to try, this was Ghost after all. "Sir…"

"Say another word Sanderson and I'll get rid of you too!" At that I did as asked, shutting up abruptly as Soap and Price turned to look at me in surprise. Hell I was surprised, I never spoke out but like I said, this was Ghost. "Ghost you seem, distracted by something, or some_one_ of later, don't you think?"

Shepherd's eyes met mine for a brief second and my blood ran cold. _Shit, he knows, fuck what the hell are we going to do?_

"I… don't know what you mean sir?"

"It doesn't matter, I have nothing else to say on the matter. I'm leaving tonight and I expect you gone by the end of the week." He looked at Ghost one more time before leaving the room and all of us in complete shock.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21:

Price was the first one of us to move, he started pacing the room. "The bastard can't get away with this."

"He already has, there's nothing you can do about it now." Ghost sighed, pushing away from the desk to stand up and lean against the desk. "Shepherd can do what he wants remember, he's the boss."

"Ghost's right, Shepherd's too influential in the military." Soap agreed, frowning slightly in thought. "Haven't you got any contacts Price?"

"Maybe, I don't know if it will be any good for this though." Soap noticed my lack of input and turned towards me. "Roach?" He asked quietly, snapping me from my thoughts and I looked at him questioningly "You ok mate? Spacing out a bit there, we need all the brain power we can get."

"Not sure I can help you out there." I joked before pulling a face. "Sorry, my usual reaction. Don't worry about me, we have to do something."

"I'll call up my contacts, see what I can do, if anything." Price mused.

"Take this to the top, you know, the ones Shepherd cant influence." Soap paused and sighed heavily. "It would be risky…"

Ghost slammed a hand on the table suddenly, making us all jump before relaxing when we saw it was only Ghost. Loud sudden noises were never a good thing for military guys, too many gunshots and explosions. "No!" He shouted, pausing to sigh heavily to calm down. "You could all lose your jobs, it's not worth the risk for mine." He looked at me and murmured his next words quietly but we all still heard. "I'm not worth it."

With that he pushed away from the desk and left the room. When the door shut Price turned to give me _the _look, meaning I needed to get my arse after Ghost and talk - or slap, whichever worked more effectively - some sense into him. "Ok I'm going already, jeez." I winked at them and left to follow after Ghost.

This wasn't going to be easy, Ghost I soon found out had yet again disappeared off the face of the earth, lucky me. I wondered over to the rec room, hoping someone had at least seen him and found Poet inside. "Alright Roach, what's up? What did Shepherd want?"

I shrugged and walked over. "Not much really, just being his usual stuck up arse."

He chuckled at that. "Careful, he's still on base remember. If he hears you talking like that you're dead."

"I'm dead anyway." I muttered, shaking my head when Poet gave me a questioning look. "How's Ozone doing?" Poet and Ozone were close mates and I know he took the injury to his friend hard.

Poet smiled at that. "He's doing well, should be out of the infirmary in a few days."

I smiled back. "That's good then. You haven't seen Ghost around have you?" I asked, trying to come across offhanded but Poet saw through it and scoffed.

"Trying to suck up to the _Lieutenant_ again are we? He's gunna bust your ass soon or later." I coughed at that, not that I was going to tell Poet that Ghost had already done just that. "I saw him about five minutes ago, looked like he was heading for the Pitt. Be careful man, he looked pissed."

"I'll take my chances. Thanks Poet, see you later." With a wave I left again, heading for the Pitt and when I passed the armoury I noticed an ACR, Poet was right. Heading out to the Pitt I stood in the observation box to see Ghost was about halfway through the simulation. I have no idea why he ran this thing so many times, after all, he held the record. My guess was repetitive actions calmed him, I knew Ghost wasn't one for change so this must be sorta therapeutic for him in a way. After a few more rounds, Ghost spotted me and stopped so I went down to talk to him. "Hey."

"Whatever it is Roach, not now." He told me bluntly but I just raised an eyebrow at him.

"And I'm not taking that dismissal." Ghost just sighed and turned to look at me. "You may be my Lieutenant, but I'm not speaking to you as a Sergeant, I'm speaking to you as Gary."

"What is it?" He asked more softly and I took that as recognition so approached him to lean against the table.

"We need a plan."

"Forget it." I opened my mouth to object but Ghost just covered it with his hand. "I'm telling you this not as your superior, but as your… well whatever the hell I am to you. The point is you can't go up against Shepherd, you'll lose you head."

I frowned, pulling his hand away. "We've got to try, if we don't then you'll have to leave."

"No."

"But-"

"No Gary!" He cut me off sharply and I scowled at him. "Just, shut up would you." He muttered, yanking his mask up before leaning down to kiss me. "You're not risking your neck for me, neither is Soap or Price, end of." He murmured against my lips before pulling back and adjusting his mask. "Please leave it."

I realised this was going nowhere, not that Ghost kissing me helped at all. With a sigh I nodded and squeezed his arm. "Ok, I'll leave you to it." Ghost nodded in reply so I left. I had pushed my luck anyway with him, if it had been anyone but me then, well they probably wouldn't be much left of them right now. Since I had nothing better to do, I joined Poet in the rec room for the day.

When I returned to my room and went to bed, I was surprised that I wasn't bothered. I half expected-half hoped Ghost would come knocking, but he never did. When I got up the next day, I found a note had been slipping under the door. Curious I picked it up and sat down, opening the neatly folded paper to read it.

' _Gary,_

_I'm sorry but I'm leaving with Shepherd tonight. Well for you it will be last night by the time you read this so I've already gone. You know better than anybody that I don't do emotions well. Tell the others, especially Soap and Price, that I said goodbye and sorry. I really am sorry Gary, please forgive me one day._

_Just do me one favour and look after yourself now I'm not there to protect your ass. You've given me something I never thought I'd feel again, you gave me hope Gary and I will never forget that. What I feel for you will never change and who knows, maybe I'll see you again someday. Until then, I guess this is goodbye. Try not to get shot._

_-__ Simon '_

I clenched the note tightly once I'd finished it, still processing the words in my head as my chest tightened and suddenly found it very hard to breathe. I couldn't understand it, Ghost never ran away, he never did this, did he? "No…" I jumped up, yanking my door open and took off down the hallways, almost knocking Soap over but he managed to jump to the side in time.

"Roach?!" He asked bewildered, following after me since I didn't reply. I skidded to a halt in front of Ghost's door and with a trembling hand I knocked on the wooden surface which swung open at my touch. Walking inside, I already knew he was gone, even if the room looked exactly the same, it just felt _empty_. Soap came to a panting halt beside me and gave me a bewildered look. "What the hell is going on?"

I handed him Ghost's note. "He left."

Soap read it, taking several minutes to respond. He pressed the note back in my hand and steered me away from the room. "Roach I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, it's that bastard Shepherd's." I growled and Soap frowned, shaking me slightly.

"Keep your head clear laddie, anger isn't a good friend in judgement calls. Let's go fin Price and figure something out." I nodded and let him lead me away from the empty room.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22:

It's been a year.

A whole fucking year since we saw or heard from him and still, nothing. Price pulled every string he had available to him within the military, still nothing. It's like he fell off the face of the earth, he just didn't want to be found. From what we can gather he keeps moving, never staying in one place long, like he was running from something, problem is by the time we had a lead he was long gone. We gave up months ago trying to find him.

Most of the time I wish it never happened, me and him, that I'd never told him how I felt. It would've saved a lot of hurt, I don't think any of it was worth it anymore. He was probably just messing with my emotions, the bloody bastard. Then, once in a while, I'm glad it did happen and then I remembered the pain and wished it didn't again.

"Come on Gary, mum's getting impatient. Where the hell are you?" I laughed down the phone t my sister Amber and rolled my eyes, not that she could see it.

"I'm on my way, give me some time I'm not The Flash." She scoffed as my inner nerd came out. "I'm turning the corner now so I'll see you in a few."

"Alright, hurry up." She ended the call and I pocketed my phone as I rounded the corner, mum had invited me over for dinner and since I wasn't home often, I tried to make the most of it.

A few weeks ago at base I lost it a bit, Soap had to send me home, that's how bad I got. It wasn't technically my fault, Meat decided to make a smart ass comment about my and Ghost, and well, I just lost it. He was a tetchy subject now and Soap was right, I needed a break. I sighed, thinking back to what had happened.

' "_Hey Roach!"_

_I sighed and lowered my book enough to peer over it at Meat. "What?" He grinned slyly and I groaned, I knew that smirk all too well and it never ended well, especially for me. "Whatever it is Meat don't fucking think about it or involve me."_

"_Dude!" He complained, snatching the book from my hands. "You've been no fun since Ghost left."_

"_So?" I snapped, my eye twitching at the mention of his name, something Meat didn't let slip. _

"_Aww c'mon Roach, don't pretend like you weren't his bitch."_

"_Excuse me?" I asked quietly, eyes narrowing. By this point we had the rooms full attention, no-one was speaking which made Meat's grin widen. _

"_It's pretty obvious ya know, you've been so depressed since he left. Do you miss the quiet evening alone with him?" I knew Meat was taunting me, but it was a nerve he didn't just poke, he stabbed it and I lost it. Poet, sensing the uneasy tone, edged closer to me and it was a good thing he did, or things could've been worse than what happened next._

"_YOU BASTARD!" I yelled, launching myself at him and his eyes widened comically as we fell to the floor. I punched every inch of him I could get my hands on, snarling when I was yanked off suddenly. "LET ME GO! I'M NOT DONE YET!"_

"_Roach calm down mate!" Poet shouted in my ear. He was slowly losing his grip on me and I was almost free when Soap burst into the room. _

"_What the hell is-" He stopped mid-sentence, catching site of me being held back by Poet and Meat on the floor almost unconscious. "ROACH!" He yelled, making several people jump. It wasn't very often Soap lost it, but when he did, there was nowhere on the planted you could escape to. He grabbed my arm, dragging me from the room as Ozone and Worm hauled Meat to his feet to be taken to the infirmary. Soap took me back to his office, dumping me unceremoniously in a chair before sighing heavily, pinching his nose. "What the hell was that about Roach?"_

"_Meat deserved it." I muttered, folding my arms and frowned like a petulant child. Now I was calming down, I realised what I'd done was way out of line, Meat would probably never come near me again, all because I can't control myself when it comes to Ghost. _

"_Really?" Soap asked, sitting down on his chair to raise an eyebrow at me sceptically. "Pease tell, what did he do to deserve _that_?"_

"_He called me Ghost's bitch." Soap looked at me surprised and I carried on angrily. "I'm no-one's bitch! I was nothing to Ghost ok, nothing!"_

"_You know that's not true."_

"_Oh yeah?" I scoffed and stood up, kicking at the scuffed carpet. "Then why the hell did he leave? Why hasn't he tried to contact me, it's been almost a year. If he gave a damn he would've at least tried to talk to me by now."_

_He looked at me for another minute without replying before sighing heavily, looking at his desk to shuffle some papers around. "I'm sending you home."_

_My blood froze at that, he couldn't, he wouldn't kick me off the taskforce for this, surely? "W-what?"_

"_Not permanently. Just for a few weeks so you can clear your head. Just know that if you pull a stunt like this again, I won't be able to protect you and I'll have to let you go." Soap stopped and looked at me sternly. "You're a good soldier Roach, and an even better man. Don't make me lose you."_

_I knew there wasn't a point in arguing so just nodded. "Fine."_

"_Trust me Roach, it'll help." '_

Of course Soap was right, he always was, being home and away from base made me realise I couldn't just bottle this anger up. I had some serious grovelling to do when I got back, Meat was sure to love that. Lucky for me he was a forgiving guy so hopefully, I will be able to patch things up. I sighed heavily, running a hand through my hair, smiling softly when my parents' house came into view. The village we lived in was only small so it only took about a half hour to walk from one end to the other, my flat being about a ten minute walk away.

I stepped onto the porch, knocking on the door before turning and looking down the street and on the corner I'd just turned, stood a figure. As I said it was a small village so rumours about this man had circulated already, even though he'd only been here a couple of days from what I'd heard. They say he's a nobody, just a passer through, running from something but never spoke to anyone.

I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck, whoever he was, he wasn't freaking me out. I'd faced far worse than some random stranger. Besides, they didn't give off a bad vibe, and my intuition wasn't wrong often. Before I could think any more about it the door opened and the porch was flooded with light, blinding me momentarily.

"Gary!" Amber yelled, throwing herself into my arms and I stumbled slightly, hugging her back after I regained my balance.

"Hey sis, how're you?"

"I'm good, nothing interesting's been happening around her for ages. How's things?"

Soap had told my family I'd had a nervous breakdown, which was technically true, they just didn't know why. My mum knew of course and I knew there wasn't any point in lying to her about it, she was the only one who knew.

"Good, but not the best. C'mon let's get inside, it's freezing out here." Amber laughed, pulling me inside. I glanced back at the corner, only to see the mysterious figure had disappeared. Amber tugged me inside, shutting the door and I soon forgot about him as we entered the main room to see mum was just putting the food down. "Hey." I grinned when she turned and smiled at me, putting the last plate down before coming over to hug me.

"Hello Gary, how are you feeling?"

I shrugged, glancing at Amber who got the hint and scoffed, walking off. "I'm ok I guess, well as good as I can be."

My mum sighed, brushing my hair behind my ear and I pulled a face, making her chuckle. "You may be a soldier Gareth Sanderson, but you'll always be my little boy. Have you heard from him?" I shook my head and she nodded. "Well don't worry about it now, tonight is family time ok?"

"Gotcha." I kissed her cheek, stepping out of her arms as my dad walked in and nodded at me before sitting at the head of the table. "Alright dad?"

"Yeah, how's the head?"

I chuckled and sat down next to him, that was the best thing I'd get out of him showing concern. "I'm fine, I just needed a break. I'll be running around and shooting the bad guys in no time."

"Just don't get yourself killed, I'd like some grandkids at some point."

My eyes widened at that. "Ha yeah right, I'm not father material dad. Sorry but you're relying on Amber for that. I don't even know about marriage yet." I unintentionally started thinking about Ghost, what if we ended up like that? A house, marriage and a couple of kids? I flinched, squashing the thought immediately, not only was that ridiculous, and I hadn't spoken to the man in a year. Besides, Ghost definitely was the father type, hell I wasn't either it would probably be his version of hell.

"One day Gary you will find someone you want to marry." He replied, missing or ignoring my flinch and stood up to take a plate of food from my mother and smiled at her. I couldn't help but smile too, it wasn't often he showed his soft side, but around my mother, it always did. "Just don't let them go once you find them." He sat down again and looked me in the eyes. "I understand you don't love Sarah, so I'll let it go."

I grinned widely at that, he finally understood. "Thank you."

Amber came over and joined us as our mother walked in with the last of the food so we could all sit down and eat. I have to admit, I missed my mum's cooking, the mess hall food was just processed crap, it could never compare. Dad kept us entertained by telling us his not so funny jokes, Amber with her stories and me, I just listened, and it was nice for once. The base was my home, my other family and the contrast to this family was large, but I could never give up either, this was my life and I was ready to accept that Ghost may be out of this life for good.

Mum disappeared after a while, combing back about a half hour later and she just smiled mysteriously at me when I asked where she had been. It was around midnight when I decided it was time to head back to my flat. "Gary it's late out, stay the night I don't want you hurt."

I laughed at that and hugged my mum reassuringly. "Don't worry, I've walked in worse than darkness, I'll be fine. Besides I have to get home and call Soap or he'll think something was wrong." She frowned but let me go. "I'll see you soon."

"Ok, be safe."

I rolled my eyes, kissing her cheek quickly before leaving. Hearing the door close behind me, I started walking home, about halfway there I realised I was being watched and sure enough, when I turned around, the stranger was standing in a shadowed alleyway and I knew he was watching me. Curious, I continued walking, doubling back to the alleyway.

When I got there though, he had disappeared. This was strange because he shouldn't have known what I was doing, not without training which either meant Soap had sent someone to watch me, or someone else had. With that in mind I quickly went home, another question to ask Soap when he rang. Opening the door to my flat, I paused when seeing a note on the floor.

Remembering Ghost's note a year ago, I bent down and picked it up carefully, going inside before opening it. It wasn't a note, it was a picture but it was of me and Ghost. I remember the photo being taken, Scarecrow found one of those old Polaroid cameras and roped us into a photo. We must have been in the Middle East somewhere because of the desert background, I was grinning happily, no wonder since Ghost had an arm slung over my shoulders. I didn't know if he was smiling too or not since his mask was on.

This had to have been taken maybe five months before I confessed, damn I remember being paranoid he'd notice something after the photo, hell maybe he did. I frowned, going to my room to dig through my bag, pulling out the identical photo, Scarecrow had taken two, one for me and one for Ghost. If this one wasn't mine, then where did it come from?

My eyes widened when I came to the conclusion it must have been the stranger in town, who else could it be? Running from the flat, I made my way to the local bar where the bartender Matt worked. He knew the ins and outs of everything then went on in our village, if someone was to know something about the stranger, it would be him.

He glanced up when I walked into the bar, sliding into a barstool in front of him. "Hey Gary, long time no see! How's the military life treating you?"

"Same as usual, who doesn't love being shot at?" I leant forward so we wouldn't be overheard. "Tell me what you know about this stranger in town."

He leant back to ponder my question thoughtfully, all I can say is he knew how to put on a good show. I waited patiently whilst he decided what to tell me. "Nothing much really, just the usual gossip going around. Why do you ask?"

"What about this?" I asked, sliding the picture to him and he frowned, picking it up to examine it.

"Yeah, looks familiar… oh I know! Whenever he comes in here he has this picture. Just sits there looking at it, kinda weird but not my place to ask." He frowned, looking at it more closely. "Isn't that you?"

"Yeah it is, thanks Matt." I stood up, taking the picture back and turned to leave.

"He's not here to kill you, is he?"

I laughed and smiled reassuringly to him. "No I doubt it, besides I'd kill him first." With that I left, leaving Matt to watch me go with a bewildered expression.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23:

I walked through town fuming, _how dare he come back now, leave without a word, without a trace. Then just reappear a year later, what's his game?_ I slowed down, realising I was taking myself to the old playground where me and Amber played as kids. Pushing the rusty gate open I walked over to the swings and sat down in one with a heavy sigh. This wasn't fair, I was just getting over him, now he just reappears like this?

My head snapped up when I heard something, or someone, move to my left. I stood up, carefully pulling my gun out and looked in that direction warily. _' "You make a lot of enemies in this job, never go alone without a gun." ' _That was Price's piece of advice for me and I'm glad I stuck by it.

"Whose there?" I called out and after a moment, the stranger stepped forward, not that he was much of a stranger to me now. "Well aren't you going to tell me who you are, or what you want? If you don't I'll just have to shoot you for stalking me."

He stepped forward and I lowered my gun slightly but kept a firm grip on it just in case I was wrong about this. Moving forward into the light, I could finally see his face. He was thinner, I could see because his cheekbones were more prominent now, it was also apparent he hadn't shaved in a good while, a beard just didn't suit him. Even though I felt sorry for him, it didn't stop me being mad as hell about what happened, I couldn't just forgive him.

"Gary…" He called my name quietly and stepped closer to me.

"Don't you dare do that." I growled, levelling my gun with his head and his eyes widened slightly in shock, hell I was shocked to, I didn't think I'd be able to do that.

We looked at each other silently for a few minutes probably, but it seemed like an eternity before spoke again. "I'm sorry Gary." He murmured, but I still caught the words and my eyes narrowed slightly.

"Sorry?" I asked in disbelief, the anger, the pain that I had bottled up for a year now was finally being let loose. "That's all you have to say to me, that you're sorry? You didn't even say goodbye! All I got was a note and you fucking left without another word! Why now? Why did you come back?" We both stepped forward and I jerked my gun at him. "You take another step and I swear I'll shoot you without a second thought."

"Come on Gary, we both know you're not capable of that."

"You don't know shit! So why did you come back, you didn't answer my question. Are you here to taunt me, to twist the knife in that little bit deeper?" I faltered, taking a deep breath to calm myself, losing control was not the way to go about this. He was right, I wouldn't really shoot him but still, I didn't want to be pushed over the edge either.

I sighed heavily and sat down on the grass, resting my head against my knees as I fought back the urge to just let go. I couldn't do that, if I did, there was no way I could come back from it and still be me. I didn't realise Ghost had moved until he crouched next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. It sent a shock of warmth to my chest and I hissed, jerking away instinctively, making him back of slightly but he stayed crouched next to me.

We looked at each silently for a long time, eventually I figured he was waiting for me to say something. "Why'd you do it?"

He frowned in confusion. "What, leave?"

"No, the picture in my flat." I pulled it out of my pocket and handed it to him. Ghost looked at it in surprise, quickly searching his pockets and his frown deepened when he didn't pull anything out. "You didn't put it there?" I guessed and he shook his head. He opened his mouth but before he could speak, my phone started ringing so I pulled it out to look at the caller ID. "It's Soap."

"Don't tell him I'm here!" Ghost said quickly, looking at me pleadingly and I scoffed, answering the call, telling Soap seemed like a pretty damn good idea.

"Hello?"

"Roach, are you ok?" Soap asked quickly, obviously worried and it was then I realised I missed his call at home.

"I'm fine Captain, sorry about not answering, I'm out."

He sighed down the headset. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm entitled to a social life aren't I?" Ghost chuckled, stopping when I sent him a warning glare. "Nothing's wrong Soap, I just fancied a drink that's all and lost track of time." I glanced at Ghost again and he smiled gratefully so I nodded in reply, no matter how pissed off with him I was, I couldn't rat him out like that, brothers in arms and all that shit.

I could almost feel Soap's eyes scrutinizing me through the phone, I knew he didn't believe me but I hoped he wouldn't call me out right now. "Ok." He relied slowly and I almost sighed in relief, catching myself just in time. "I'll call you in the morning when you're more willing to talk then."

"Sure thing Soap, thanks." I ended the call and stood up to stretch before looking down at Ghost to see he was watching me with a strange expression. "What?" I asked, running a hand through my hair nervously before frowning. "You're looking at my funny."

"It's nothing, just… thanks." He smiled and leaned back to look at me properly. "How've you been Gary?"

"Oh no, just because I'm not aiming a gun at you now doesn't mean I want to talk." I told him and his face fell slightly, making my heart jolt. Damn how could I resist such a look, but I really wasn't ready, so this called for a compromise. "Come on, you can stay with me."

"Really?" He asked dubiously, standing up as well and I nodded. Then he did something weird, he looked at me, his expression softening and made a slight move towards me before stilling and then, shuffled his feet. I raised an eyebrow but didn't question the odd behaviour.

"Yes, but on one condition. We don't talk about it, not yet anyway, we don't do anything, understood?" Ghost nodded and I relaxed slightly, nodding back. "Come on then, I'm sure you know where I live by now anyway." He chuckled at that and started following me from the park.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24:

When we reached my flat, I turned to look at Ghost again. "You can stay for a while, until I go back to base ok. You look like you need a shower and a good rest anyway." I turned back to the door and opened, but paused again and looked at him. "And can you shave your beard off, it looks weird on you."

He held up his hands in surrender. "Ok, ok, I'll get rid of it."

"Good, it's creepy." Shaking my head I finally went inside, Ghost following after and shutting the door. Pointing at the door to the right of the main room we stood in I told him, "That's the spare room, you can us that." He nodded and I pointed at the next two in turn. "There's the bathroom and then my room, got it?"

"Ok."

I sighed and walked into the adjoining kitchen, opening the fridge to grab two beers before moving to sit on the sofa. I glanced at Ghost to see he'd raised an eyebrow at me. "One's for you dumbass." Throwing him one, he caught it numbly and joined me on the sofa as I opened mine and drank some. I glanced at him again to see he was still watching me, but hadn't opened his can.

"What, not the right brand?" I asked irritably, I don't know why but the fact he kept watching me was putting me on edge and I didn't like it.

He smiled sadly and shook his head. "No, it's not that. I never took you for the drinking type, not unless there was a party."

"Well there's a lot about me you don't know." I replied coolly, finishing the beer.

"I know." He murmured softly, setting the unopened beer down on the table and stood up. "I think I'll retire for the night, if that's alright with you?" He asked and I shrugged.

"Sure thing."

"Well… see you in the morning I suppose."

"Alright."

Ghost sighed and turned to walk off and I glanced at his retreating back, an unexplainable sadness hitting me like a punch in the gut. I sighed, rubbing my head before cleaning up and going to my own room, I might as well go to bed myself. As I entered and looked at my bed, my thoughts strayed to Ghost, if things had been different, if hadn't left without contacting me for a year, tonight might have ended differently.

_Stop it. _I told myself sternly. _He left you remember, don't get any stupid ideas. It's never going to happen again so don't even think about it. He doesn't want you now and probably never did, just remember that._ I sighed again and crawled under the covers, not caring I was still fully clothed and fell asleep quickly.

When I woke up the following morning, it was safe to say it hadn't been a good night's sleep as I felt like shit warmed up. Groaning, I buried my head under the pillow. I knew why I couldn't sleep well, and it pissed me off because I invited the problem to damn well live with me until I went back to base, which was whenever Soap decided I was good again and that could be months away yet. How I was going to survive that long with Ghost around I don't know, but I had to try.

With a sigh I rolled over to get up, not realising I was already on the edge of the bed and fell onto the floor with a loud band, the covers falling on top of me. With a load groan I started untangling myself, jumping when the door slammed open and Ghost burst in, gun ready and he surveyed the room with a worried expression. When he saw me on the floor, he relaxed and put his gun away before raising an eyebrow at me.

"So uh, what happened here?" he asked, badly supressing a smile which just riled me up even more.

"Nothing!" I snapped back, managing to free my arms. "I just fell out of bed, that's all." Cursing I went back to untangling myself and Ghost moved to help me but with a warning look in his direction, he backed off quickly.

"Ok then, I'll leave you to it." He backed out of the room and shut the door. Once it was closed I groaned, resisting the urge to smack myself in the head. _Ghost will never let me live this down._ I had to admit though, he looked a lot better compared to last night. He'd showered and shaved off his crazy beard and was looking more like himself now.

After another few minutes of struggling I managed to free myself and threw the cover back on the bed. Changing into new clothes, I walked into the main room, frowning when I didn't see Ghost and after a quick inspection, he wasn't in the guest room either. I sniffed when I caught the smell of something nice and walked over to the kitchen, catching sight of a cup of what I presumed was coffee sat on the side with a piece of paper stuck underneath it which I grabbed to read.

' _I've gone out for a bit, I thought you might like a drink. Especially if you've hurt yourself after that fall. I'll see you later._

_-__ Ghost '_

I set the note down to pick up the drink and sipped it carefully before smiling, Ghost still remembered how I liked it. The phone rang so I put it down again to go grab the phone. "Hello?"

"Good morning Gary, how are you feeling?" I frowned, it wasn't like my mother to call in the morning, probably just checking I made it home safely.

"I'm fine mum, don't worry I got home safely. What's up?" She paused and I frowned deeper, she was hiding something. "Mum?" I asked again, starting to get worried.

"Did you talk to Simon?"

I choked at that, how did she know? "How did-"

"Look we both know he's this 'stranger' in town, who else would follow you around?" She reasoned and I sat down on the sofa. "That's why I put the picture in your flat, managed to steal it last night when he was in Matt's bar."

"_You_ did that?" I asked in surprise, my eyebrows raising, this was something new for her, she never did something as reckless as stealing from stranger, especially those who were dangerous. She was lucky Ghost didn't catch her.

"Of course, I know you still love him Gary."

"No." I muttered, poking the sofa arm and she sighed.

"You can't lie to me, I'm your mother. And I know you still love him, despite how angry you may feel right now. Besides, I thought you'd be happy to see him, that's why you're upset isn't it? Because he's not talked to you so now he's here, what's the problem?"

"It's not that simple, I can't forgive him just like that when he turns up out of nowhere. It's complicated mum."

"Gary." She said my same softly and I frowned, she sounded sad, I didn't realise she valued mine and Ghost's relationship so highly. "Love is always complicated, but don't let it go because of a small hitch. Believe me you'll regret it for the rest of your life if you let him go now. Promise me you'll at least talk."

"I-"

"Gary…"

"Ok, I promise." I gave in at the warning, the last thing I needed was for mum to be pissed at me.

"So when are you going to talk to him?"

I groaned, this was where I got my insistence from obviously and I had to admit, I didn't like being on the receiving end. "No idea, he went out, left a note saying he'd be back soon so I will then."

"He's staying with you?"

"Yes, but not like that. He had nowhere to go mum, you should've seen him, he was a mess." I leaned back, running a hand through my hair. "It's not going to solve anything anyway, he doesn't love me."

"If he doesn't, why bother coming all this way to see you. Isn't he from England?"

"So?"

"Gary… He's travelled from England just to come and see you, which proves he does love you. Please give him a chance to explain."

"I said I would." I sighed and stood up. "I gotta go mum, he'll be back soon, love you."

"Ok, I love you too sweetheart."

I ended the call and groaned, what mum had said confused me. It was true though, if he didn't at least care for me, why would he come to America to see me? It couldn't be a coincidence it was my home town he was in out of the whole of America, it just wasn't possible. Which left the option he came to see me, I smiled softly at the thought before frowning. _I shouldn't be getting my hopes up, for all I know he's come to say he doesn't love me._

Needless to say I wasn't looking forward to talking to Ghost, which reminded me I also had to chat with Soap. Grabbing the phone again I dialled his number. As the phone started ringing, the flat door opened and Ghost walked in so I turned to look at him in surprise and he looked between me and the phone in question.

"Hello, Roach?" Soap's voice rang through and Ghost seemed to come to a conclusion as he looked at me with a sad smile.

"You're going to tell him, aren't you."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25:

I looked at Ghost in surprise, noting when he sighed and walked around me that he didn't meet my eyes. I forgot about the phone in my hand for a moment, jumping when Soap's voice rang through again.

"Roach… are you there mate?"

I glanced down at the phone before back to Ghost and opened my mouth, but I didn't know what to say, I had no idea what to do. _If I tell Soap, Ghost will leave, no question about it. If I don't tell Soap, Ghost stays and I have to talk to him. I guess the real question is can I let him in again, am I ready to open up to him and the possibility I could get hurt again? _

Ghost sighed, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Just tell him." He said defeatedly and at that, I made my choice. Looking down at the phone again, I ended the call and set the phone down. "You… You're not going to tell him?" Ghost asked quietly and I shrugged.

"No, but I thought about it." I replied just as quietly, turning to look at him again. "But then you would leave and I have to talk to you."

"What about?" I sighed, looking down and shook my head, I didn't know where to start. "Gary, please talk to me." He murmured and I jumped when his voice sounded close to me and looking up, I saw he had moved to stand just in front of me, close enough that I'd almost head-butted him by looking up and now our noses were brushing.

"I-" I stopped, hesitantly I reached up and touched his face, tracing the same scar like I had all those months ago. "You came here to see me, didn't you?"

"Well obviously, what else would I be here for in this pokey little village?" Ghost sighed, grabbing my hand to thread our fingers together. "I'm sorry for staying away, for not contacting you. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I spent almost every day at your side back at base and not being able to do that again, it's too painful to think about. I couldn't face the fact I might not have seen you again, that one day you would just stop talking to me, for whatever reason, I can't accept that Gary."

He lent forward and our lips brushed together but before he could kiss me properly, I pulled free of his grasp and stepped away. "I can't…"

Ghost shrugged and walked away to sit on the sofa. "It's ok Gary, I don't expect you too, just pushing my luck I suppose." My heart tugged as he pulled away from me like that, but I couldn't kiss him, it would be my undoing and right now, if we did anything like that, our relationship would be ruined for good. "Can you at least tell me you still love me?" Ghost asked and I looked at him with a frown.

"I don't know."

His face at that sentence, was my undoing. I couldn't bear the thought of this much pain, especially since I was the one inflicting it. So I turned and went into my room, when the door closed I slid down it to the floor, cradling my head in my hands. This wasn't my strong suit, I'd never felt like this before or been in this situation and it was killing me, I wanted to kiss him, to forgive and forget but a part of me just couldn't let go.

I cursed myself, this was pathetic, here I am almost in tears because the man I love finally came back to me, pretty much begging for forgiveness - well as close as it could get for Ghost - and I rejected him, walked off and shut him out. Ghost was trying with me and I couldn't even give anything back so what does that say about me, what does that tell him? I couldn't let him think I didn't love him, he had to know how I felt.

"Fuck this. I'm a Sanderson and I don't run away, ever." I muttered, standing up again and opened my door. Walking back into the main room I saw Ghost was still sat on the sofa, but he was leaning back and had an arm slung over his face and apparently, he either didn't notice or wasn't acknowledging my presence. Walking over stealthily, it wasn't until I stood over him that Ghost stiffened, finally noticing me. "Simon?"

Slowly, he uncovered his face to look at me apprehensively. "Yeah?"

"I promised I would never forgot that you loved me. Do you remember asking me to make that promise?" I smiled when he nodded. "Do you remember what happened after?"

He smiled back. "Yeah, I do."

"That, so far, has been the best night of my life." I paused, moving to sit in his lap and he stiffened, his eyes widening slightly. "I don't want it to be the last though." I looked up at him sternly. "Swear to me, swear right now you'll never pull this shit again."

Ghost nodded quickly, hesitantly touching my sides. "I'm sorry Gary, really, really sorry. I shouldn't have left like that and it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life because it meant I hurt you deeply. But if you give me a chance I swear I won't leave you again. I swear to you I won't leave unless you ask me to, no matter what."

I nodded, sighing heavily before fisting his shirt in my hands. "Then there's only one thing left to say." I looked into his eyes and smiled. "Love's never too late Simon."

He tightened his grip on me as I bent down and kissed him firmly, tugging on his shirt to pull him closer. It wasn't like any other kiss we'd shared before, this was on another scale, every touch of his hands sent sparks through my body, the way his lips moved against mine was insatiable and I couldn't get enough. Before I could comprehend what was happening I was on my back and Simon had pulled away from me, panting slightly before grinning.

"We gotta stop now or I'm not going to be able to control myself." He murmured, kissing me again quickly. "I want you so bad it actually hurts, don't let me force this though."

"Like I would let you." I joked, grabbing the edge of his shirt and pulled it up, getting the hint Simon leaned back and pulled it off before returning to lean over me. I ran my hands up his chest, one hand running over smooth skin and the other over rough, jagged scars. I supressed a grin when he shivered and paused as my fingers brushed his tags, placing my hand flat against his chest so I could feel his heart beat under my palm. "I love you Simon."

He covered my hand with his own and smiled. "I love you too Gary. Thank you for giving me a second chance."

"Everyone deserves a second chance." I murmured, kissing him again before pushing him back so I could stand up. I held out a hand in answer to his questioning look and grinned. "I don't want you to control yourself, let go and I'll take it all."

He snorted, but took my hand and stood up as well. He threaded a hand in my hair and pulled me closer before kissing the top of my head. "Let me show you how much I've missed you." He whispered seductively in my ear, laughing when I failed to stop my own shiver. "Come on." He tugged on my hand, leading me into the spare room.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26:

It was still dark when I woke up and I shifted slightly to glance at the clock on the bedside table, frowning when I couldn't see the illuminated numbers. It was then I remembered I wasn't in my room and I also wasn't alone. Turning over I found Simon sleeping soundly next to me. I smiled and chuckled to myself, for the badass Lieutenant of Task Force 141, he sure looked cute when sleeping. Well, former Lieutenant, I sighed, causing him to open one eye and look at me with a frown.

"What'sgoinon?" He mumbled sleepily and I had to stifle a laugh, opting to shrug instead.

"Not much."

"Good, c'mere." He smiled, closing his eye again and held out an arm. I rolled my eyes scooting closer to he could wrap it around me and pull me to his chest. I smiled softly, breathing in the scent of his aftershave, I'd always liked the smell, not that I would ever admit that to anyone but myself. He pressed his head into my hair and sighed. "This mean we're good?"

I laughed, gently poking his side and raised an eyebrow when he made a noise in his throat, quickly moving away. "Well yeah, we did just have sex didn't we?" I grinned, poking him again and laughed when Simon jerked again. "Are you… ticklish?" I asked in surprise, smirking when he refused to meet my questioning gaze. "You are aren't you?"

"Shut up Gary." He muttered, grabbing my hand to pull it away before yawning. "Not now."

I raised an eyebrow, my smirk widening and I rolled over to sit on top of him. "Are you tired, or exhausted old man?"

"I'm tir-" He opened his eyes at that and I quickly got out of the bed as he went to grab me. "Hey, I'm only thirty four, that aint old."

I stuck my tongue out childishly. "Well I'm twenty six, that makes you old in my books, getting slow there I see."

"I'll show you slow." He growled before launching himself at me and we both fell on the floor. "I may be older than you, but I can still make you scream." He smirked when my eyes widened, blushing instantly. "Yeah that's right Gary, remember that next time you call me old." He lent down and kissed me quickly.

"Simon…" I murmured, shoving at his chest. "I can't breathe properly."

"Huh, oh sorry." He shifted so his full weight wasn't on me and smiled at me, my heart racing at the sight. _God damn it, how the hell can one person be so attractive! It just wasn't fair._

"Thanks."

"No worries mate."

I raised an eyebrow. "I think I'm a bit more than your mate, aren't I?"

Simon rolled his eyes and cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean Bug?"

I scoffed before grinning and poked his sides again. "Oh really, say that again I dare you." His eyes widened and I took the advantage, pushing him back and pinned him down, continuing my assault on his newly found weak spot. "Come on Simon, you're not putting up much of a fight here."

"You bastard!" He chocked out, managing to grab my thigh and flip me over. He pinned my arms above my head and my eyes widened when I remember who it was I was dealing with. "Oh yeah." He mocked when it dawned on me. "Don't forget I'm Ghost, you can't take me on, even knowing about _that._"

"I thought you were being Simon right now."

"I am, it's not split personality Gary, I'm both. Just when I'm Ghost, I don't let emotions get in the way. I haven't in a long time and it's hard to let it come back. I haven't been Simon in a long time." I smiled softly, rubbing his arm.

"I know, I'm glad you can be like that with me, really I am." He sighed and lent down to kiss me again, my train of thoughts becoming a train wreck instantly. When I felt his hand run down my chest and stomach to reach my boxers, I smiled against his lips and pulled back. "I need to ask you to do something for me."

"Anything." He replied instantly, moving to kiss my neck and I rolled my eyes, pulling away to look at him.

"I'm serious." Simon sighed, but nodded. I frowned, running one of my hands through his hair. "Appeal to the military."

"No."

"Come on… please?"

"Nope."

I shrugged, sighing heavily before pouting. "Fine." I muttered and catching him by surprise, I managed to shove Simon off me before leaving the room. I smiled to myself when he followed, turning to look at him again.

"Where are you going?"

"To bed."

He raised an eyebrow at that, walking over to stand in front of me, folding his arms. "Weren't you comfortable?"

"Doesn't matter if I was or not." I replied coyly, gently poking his chest before smirking. "I don't share a bed with cowards."

"I'm not a coward." Simon huffed, frowning at me and I had to supress a grin.

"Then appeal to the military." He just shook his head and I sighed. "Why not?"

"What exactly would I tell them about the past year? 'Hey there everyone, I haven't appealed to the military for over a year because I suck at formalities such as this bullshit. So can I have my old job on the task force back?' Yeah, I don't think so." He paused, looking at me with sceptical expression so I shrugged.

"Not in those words." He groaned and I frowned, looking at Simon with a drawn expression. "What if I didn't come back?"

He looked up sharply at that. "You will."

"So you're telling me you're willing to wait for however long it is until the next Task Force break. Or wait long enough for Soap to call you and tell you I'm dead?" I asked quietly and he flinched before slowly shaking his head.

"You always come back Gary, always have and always will."

I threw my arms up and sighed exasperatedly, sometimes the fact that Simon was stubborn was just plain annoying. "You don't know that!"

"I'm not appealing!"

"Well what do you have to lose? The worst they can do is say no and then the outcome is the same. Or maybe, you'll be allowed back, don't you think it's worth the risk?" I asked and he paused, thinking it over as I silently prayed he would agree. My persuasion skills weren't the best so if he still said no, I didn't know how to convince him otherwise from here.

Finally he sighed and looked at me defeatedly. "If I appeal will you please stop bugging?"

I scoffed at that, but still couldn't help but smile. "As if, my name's Roach remember? But yes, I'll stop about the appeal."

"Then I'll appeal, if only to get you off my case." Simon shook his head as I grinned widely. That was the moment my stomach decided I was hungry and growled loudly, causing him to raise an eyebrow. "Hungry by any chance?"

I grinned guiltily before stepping around him to walk to the kitchen. "Maybe, want some food?"

He shrugged, following after me. "Sure, why not." I grabbed the pizza box from the side, the remains of yesterday's lunch still inside and sat down, taking a bit out of one of the slices. I raised an eyebrow when Simon scoffed in disgust, wrinkling his nose at me.

"What?" I asked after finishing my mouthful, offering him another slice. "Want some?"

"Yeah right, I don't eat shit like that for breakfast."

I held up my hands in defence. "Hey, don't take it out on the pizza." Simon just smiled before grabbing some cereal. "Cereal, really?"

"It's better than that, gives you more energy too. Unlike you I know how to eat properly and I won't be fat when I'm older." He eyed my pizza as I smirked.

"So… if I got fat, would you leave me?" Simon's eyes widened slightly before he shook his head, reaching across the table to grab my hands.

"Never, I promised you last night I wouldn't leave unless you asked me too. No matter how fat you got, I'll stay with you." He squeezed my hand briefly before returning to his breakfast. "No shut up and eat, pizza or cereal, anything is better than nothing."

"Thanks I think." We fell into a comfortable silence for a while as we ate. When Simon had finished he stood up, moving to place his bowl in the sink and I smiled at his back before speaking. "So when are you going to appeal."

He groaned, turning to look at me with a raised eyebrow. "Tomorrow Mum."

"Good." With a smirk I picked up another slice of pizza, carefully aiming and threw it as Simon turned. With an audible splat that echoed in the following silence, the pizza hit him on the face. I had to hold in a laugh at Simon's expression as it fell off and he looked at me with a mixture of surprise and malice. "Oh you asked for that, calling me mum and all, I mean, that would be on fucked up relations-"

My sentence got cut off as the pizza I'd previously thrown now hit me in the face. I picked it off to see Simon was smirking triumphantly. "Now we're even."

"Bitch."

"Twat." He threw back and I growled, grabbing another pizza slice form the table and threw it at him. Naturally he dodged it before grabbing his own and grinning at me. "Oh, it's on now Bug, you better run if you value your life."

"Bring it!"


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27:

"Bloody hell!" I raised an eyebrow at the exclamation as I walked into the main room to find Simon currently battling with his tie, yes that's right, tie. He was still attempting to straighten his tie, for ten minutes straight now by my count. With a sigh I rolled my eyes and walked over to him, batting his hands away from the material. "You are one of the most elite soldiers in the world, one of the most feared. The name Ghost is a force to be reckoned with and enemies cower at the name. You can defeat a building full of enemies outnumber 20:1, complete the most dangerous special op missions on the planet… Yet you can't straighten a tie?" I really did try to keep a straight face, but failed and he scowled at me.

"Fuck you, it's harder than it looks." He growled at me, a lesser man would have cowered at the look I was receiving but I just shrugged it off, far to used to Simon's mood swings to be bothered by it.

"No, it's really not." I laughed, tugging on the tie to pull him closer. When he didn't move I sighed and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Well, are you going to come here or what?" He scowled again before sighing and stepping closer. I tugged on the tie harder to make him step closer and sorted it out. "See, not that hard." He mumbled something so I raised my eyebrow again. "Sorry, I didn't quite catch that?"

He looked at me and smiled wryly. "I said I could have done it myself thanks."

I snorted, letting go of the tie. "Yeah, maybe by Christmas."

Simon growled softly, slipping an arm around my wait to pull me to his body. I smiled and rested my head against his shoulder and he pressed his head into my hair momentarily before pulling away. I frowned, leaning back slightly to look up at him. "What?"

He just smiled in return. "Nothing." His smile widened into a grin when I looked at him questioningly before he lifted my chin, leaning down to kiss me. I smiled against his mouth, going along with it happily until things started getting heated and I was pushed against the wall.

Pulling away reluctantly, I smiled at him and sighed. "Simon…"

"Don't say my name like that, it means stop and I don't want to stop." He murmured, continuing to kiss down my neck and I reluctantly pushed him away, stepped out of his reach.

"Unfortunately we do have to stop. We have to go you know or we'll be late, not exactly a good first impression is it?"

He sighed and shook his head. "You are no fun."

"Oh really? That's not what you were saying last night." I countered, grinning smugly when he only scoffed in reply, refusing to look at me because he knew I was right. "Exactly, now come on, we have to go."

I turned to leave but he grabbed my arm before I could reach the door. I turned and raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. "After?"

With a sigh, I rolled my eyes before nodding. "Sure."

Simon pulled a face before wrapping his arms around me. "If you don't want to have sex you can say y'know. Jeeze don't make it sound like such a chore."

He pouted and my will melted at the sight, I had to admit, he did look cute and I found myself laughing. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry. If you must know, it's all I'll be thinking about during the trial, happy?"

He nodded and grinned, kissing me quickly. "Very."

"Good now come on, we are going to be late unless we move it." Tugging on his arm, I managed to lead Simon from the flat and with five minutes to spare, we were outside the court house. As we approached the building, Soap saw us and came down to meet us, Price following a few steps behind. Simon hung back and I squeezed his arm reassuringly before walking away to meet the two walking towards us. "Hey, thanks for coming."

Soap just frowned at me in return. "I can't believe you roped me into this."

"You would have come anyway." I replied, knowing he wasn't really annoyed at me, after all, Ghost was practically his brother.

He sighed and shook his head. "Yeah, I know, stupid bastard. I can't believe he's doing this, it's not his 'style'."

I grinned guilty and cast a glance at Simon to see he was still hanging back. "I uh, talked him into it."

Soap snorted and gave me a knowing look. "Talked, sure…" He laughed as my eyes widened and I gaped at him wordlessly. With a slap to my shoulder, he left to walk over to Simon. Turning around, I jumped as I almost smacked into Price who just sighed.

"I'm only here because Soap asked me to help, that's it."

"I know, thank you."

Price nodded before indicating at the two behind us. "So, why did he decide to come back anyway?"

I shrugged, looking as well to see they were walking towards us now. "You'll have to ask him."

So as they reached us, Price did just that. "What changed your mind?" He asked Simon once he was in earshot.

"Price!" Soap looked at the older man in surprise. By the look on his face, I figured they'd already discussed this and obviously, Soap had decided not to ask like that.

"It's fine Soap." Ghost replied, waving his concerns off before turning to Price. "And price, keep your nose out, I'm not telling you, or anyone."

"Excuse me?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ghost stiffened and stood up straighter, eyes narrowing slightly. "Like I said, I'm not telling you so don't bug me about it."

They stood staring at each other in silence for a few moments before Price just shrugged. "Fine." He muttered before turning around to leave and go back up to the court house.

Soap rolled his eyes at us both, a small smile pulling at his lips. "I should go talk to him, we don't need Price to be in a bad mood right now, catch up with you in a few." He left as well, following after Price and I turned to Simon with a raised eyebrow.

"Bloody twat."

"Well thanks." I joked and Simon frowned before shaking his head and smiled at me.

"Not you, just Price. As if I'd call you a twat, then I wouldn't be getting any later." He reached out, giving my shoulder a soft squeeze before dropping his hand again. "Nosey bastard."

"Well… I'm curious too, why did you come back?"

He looked down at me again, his expression softening and if felt my heart stutter at the open expression. Simon wasn't an open person, so I felt lucky he would share this side of him with me. "I missed you…" He started, his voice barley above a whisper before he cleared his throat and smirked. "And everyone else of course, without me, you lot are probably in all sorts of shit at base."

I smiled, leaning up to kiss him quickly. "Missed you to, and I'm pretty sure everyone will be _thrilled _to have you overbearing ass back."

"Overbearing huh?"

"Their words, not mine." Simon just shook his head as I laughed before he nodded behind me and I turned to see Soap was making his way back over. "What's up?"

"Price is waiting inside, come on we'll be going in in a minute." He paused, noting our supressed grins and sighed. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing Soap, don't worry about it." Simon replied quickly before winking at me. "Let's get this over with."

I bumped my arm against his and grinned. "It'll be worth it, trust me, you'll be able to come back to base."

"Yeah, I so missed you crazy assed bunch."

"Trust me mate, since you've been gone, it's been worse than ever. I have to barricade myself in my office somedays." Soap pulled a face before looking at me. "You lot can be a bunch of animals sometimes."

I just shrugged. "Well that's what you get for putting a bunch of energetic guys cooped up together with no place to escape."

"Alright I get it, you need me back for control damage." Simon pointed out with a grin. "Well let's get through today first." He started up to the building and Soap chuckled before we followed after him.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28:

It was a week later after the appeal and me and Simon were sat in my flat, waiting for the post to arrive for the verdict. The letter was supposedly going to arrive today, at least that's what they had told us but you never know with these military courts. Likelihood was something got fucked up down the line and the letter is currently making its way to England to Simon's last known address, which I can bet he hasn't lived at in years.

He was currently pacing the room silently, slowly wearing a trench into the carpet. I sighed and stood up to stretch before rolling my eyes at him. "Keep that up and you'll fall through the ceiling, come sit down." He stopped long enough to throw me a sharp look before continuing. "Ok fine, but you're paying for a new carpet."

When again he didn't answer I shrugged and fell back onto the sofa with a thump. Picking up the remote, I began aimlessly flicking through the channels.

_"...brand new, on sale today!..."_

_"...Time of death, 8:15..."_

_"...GOAL!..."_

_"...in other news, Makarov is still at large..."_

_"...do you believe in fate?..."_

What? "_...the notorious Russian mass murderer, Vladimir Makarov, has issues another threat smilie to those of the actions of Joseph Allen at Zakeheav Airport. The government and military are taking necessary actions and new protocols have been put into place..."_

I snorted and switched the TV off. _Trust Makarov to cause a scene a scene like that with the public. Probably means he's planning something big, which isn't good for us. _I turned to voice this to Simon only to find he had finally stopped pacing and was currently staring at the floor near the door.

"Is there something interesting down there or have you finally lost it?" When Simon didn't answer, I sighed and got up to have a look for myself and understood his silence when I saw the pile of letters on the floor.

Walking around Simon, I picked the letters up before returning to the sofa, grabbing his arm along the way to force him to sit on the sofa. Flicking through the pile, I began dropping them on the table with Simon watching apprehensively.

"Bill, bill, oh a letter from Poet. Guess things at base are getting out of hand at the moment poor guy. Oh wouldn't you know it, more bills!" Shaking my head the letters landed on the table until only one remained in my hands. "It's from the military court." I held it out for Simon to take but he just looked at it with a blank expression. With another sigh I waved it under his nose. "Oi dumbass! You going to open this or what?"

He snatched it from my hands, sending me a dirty look before pulling his pocket knife out and slicing the letter open. Apparently he found it too 'mainstream' to use his hands. Pulling the letter out, he smoothed it out and began reading. After about five minutes he put it down and looked up at me.

"Well?" I asked. "What's the verdict?" He studied me with a passive expression for a moment before grinning and jumping up, pulling me into his arms with a laugh. "I take it that you can come back?" I gasped, pushing him away slightly so I could breathe again.

"Of course, did you really think we wouldn't? Honestly Gary, you worry too much."

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Yeah, I'm the worrier." He laughed again before bending down to kiss me, running his hands down my sides to reach the bottom of my shirt and rugged it upwards so I helped remove it. "Oh so _now _you're in the mood, you've barely touched me all week."

Simon smiled and kissed me again. "I'm sorry, let me make it up to you." He whispered seductively and I shivered before allowing him to lead me into the bedroom.

A few hours later I sat up, cracking my neck with a satisfied groan before smiling lazily as Simon traced his finger across my back. I turned to look at him to see he was smirking and frowned. "What?"

"Getting to much for you?" He joked and I scoffed, batting his hand away before standing up to stretch my muscles.

"Yeah right, I should be asking you that old man. You look like you're in serious need of some beauty sleep." I ducked quickly as a pillow was thrown my way before sticking my tongue out at Simon. Ducking again as a second pillow was aimed at me, I quickly left the room. Grabbing the phone from the side, I called Soap's number, he was probably waiting to hear the news. "Hey Soap."

"Hey Roach, I take it it's good news?"

"How'd you guess?"

Soap sighed and I could almost picture him shaking his head with an exasperated expression. "Because you sound fine. Lucky me, I miss being yelled at every other day for some random crap or whatever he gets worked up about. Ah well... At least I have someone to do my paperwork now."

The phone was taken from my hand suddenly and I jumped, whirling around to find Simon smirking at me and I scowled at him. He shrugged in return before holding the phone to his ear. "You can do your own damn paperwork you lazy bastard." Soap replied something I couldn't hear and Simon laughed. "Yeah well, I have something better to do now. And his name is Sergeant Sanderson. See you tomorrow, bye bye." He ended the call before looking at me with a raised eyebrow expectantly. "Ready for another round?"

"Sure you're up to it?" I teased and he grinned widely as I stepped closer and he quickly pulled me into his arms.

"Always." And with that, I was being dragged back into the bedroom, apparently Simon was just a bundle of energy at the moment, not that I was complaining.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29:

I shifted again on plane seat with an annoyed huff. These damn military planes were uncomfortable fuckers and we'd been on this one for three hours already! I couldn't wait to get back to base, if only to sit down on a nice soft cushion and rest my sure to be bruised ass.

"Aww... Is the ickle bug uncomfy?" Ghost mocked and I turned to look at his masked face, sending him a dirty look.

"Fuck you."

He stood up, making his way towards me with surprisingly good balance since with plane was jerking all over the place and sat down next to me. I closed my eyes and sighed as he grasped my knee before opening them again to scowl at him as his hand slid up my thigh. "Are you crazy?!" I hissed, slapping the hand away. "Soap and Price are just there!" I waved at the two in answer to his questioning look.

"So?" He looked at the two who were talking quietly before shrugging and looking at me again. "They're too busy discussing their next weekend away to be bothered with us."

I drowned in confusion at the implied statement. "Next weekend away?"

"You didn't know?"

He asked the question innocently enough, but his hand had returned to my leg and my eyes narrowed as I grabbed it. "You're changing the subject."

Ghost pushed his shades up to rest on top of his mask to survey me carefully with his eyes. "Sorry, where you enjoying yourself?"

As he lent closer, I smiled and covered his masked mouth with my free hand. "Not now and definitely not here." I told him and he groaned, removing his hand from my leg and slumped back again the seat.

"You're no fun." He sighed, sliding his shades back into place and I laughed.

"You have no restraint whatsoever and besides, I'm plenty of fun, remember the pizza?" He mock shivered and I scoffed. "Yeah you can pretend all you like, you still enjoyed yourself. Can you imagine what it's going to be like back at base? We are going to have little to no privacy so there isn't going to be much sex, I can tell you now."

Ghost groaned and scrubbed at his face. "Oh the horrible torture! How will I survive?"

"Ha ha." I replied dryly before standing up as Soap came over to us and the plane came to a juddering halt.

"We're here, you two ready?" He asked and we both nodded in reply.

"Let's get this over with." Ghost sighed before standing up and walking towards the opening cockpit. When we exited the plane, we were greeted by some very drinker and slightly Okiefied cheers.

"Ghost!"

"Good to see you back!"

"Whoo!" Meat yelled out and swayed dangerously as he waved his beer at Ghost. Apparently they had started the party early and Meat was so drunk he could even form words anymore.

We were led to the beer horde and the night was filled with music again as someone plugged the sound system back in and the party started up again. But of course, no party is complete with the one jackass who wants to dampen the mood.

"What the hell is this?!" With a loud screech the music was stopped again and an uncomfortable silence fell over our group as Shepherd looked around at us all in disdain. I felt Ghost stiffen beside me and I knew he was readying for a fight since he had a settle to score with the man.

Fortunately, Price beat him to it as he stepped up to the man and topped his beer bottle towards him. "Well you see Shepherd, we won. Cheers."

Shepherd sent the bottle flying and moved to grab Price around the throat, catching himself at the last moment. He let out a heavy sigh, his eyes moved towards me and Ghost and I shifted towards him slightly, unfortunately the action didn't go amiss. He sneered at me before clearing his throat and gaining everyone's attention.

"Does anyone here know why I got rid of your precious Ghost?" He asked and no one answered. "Do you want to know?"

"Shepherd don't." Price warned but he ignored him.

"Shut up, don't you think the _team_ has a right to know?" He paused and I gulped as everyone seemed to collectively hold their breath, and then the bomb was dropped. "Know that the dear Lieutenant has been fucking one of his subordinates?"

There was a collective sound of gasps and muttering amongst everyone and too late did I realise I hadn't joined in. Catching Poet's eyes, I knew he understood and I sent him a grateful smile when he nodded at me. "I don't care." He called loudly and everyone fell silent again. "It's Ghost's business what he does in his own time, frankly I don't want to or need to know who he does it with." He winked at me and I smiled back.

"Well I wanna know!" Royce chimed in with a childish whine and apparently, almost everyone agreed with him.

Shepherd smiled slowly like he's just swallowed a particularly juicy fly, I felt like I was going to throw up. If the team found out and rejected it, I would have to leave and I knew that would be the worst thing for me, they were my family and this was my home. But Ghost was my Lieutenant and this could be seen as something wrong in their eyes.

"Well well..." Shepherd spoke softly, gaining my attention and everyone else's as well. "Should I tell them?"

Ghost snapped at that and growled. "Back off Shepherd." He said in a low voice, well more like threatened.

"This doesn't concern you." Soap added, quickly stepping between the two.

"Of course it does! You're _my _team after all."

"So?" Soap lowered his arms when Ghost nodded at him and relaxed his defensive position so our captain could face Shepherd fully. "It doesn't affect their work. If it did I would've put a stop to it a long time ago."

"And you're lucky to still have your job MacTavish!" Shepherd snapped at him before smiling. "But too bad." He looked at Ghost again. "So come on Riley, why don't you tell everyone? Tell them how you've been sleeping with your dear Sergeant Sanderson for over a year now?"


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30:

Everyone, and I do mean _everyone _turned and looked at the two of us. I felt my cheeks burn, with embarrassment or shame I wasn't sure and quickly lowered my head to look at the very fascinating floor.

"So... Is it true?" Toad asked, confusion evident in his voice and I looked up to see his was looking between us.

"Yes." Ghost replied, glancing at me and I just shrugged, it was out now so might as well tell the truth. "But not the year part, only a couple of months."

"Wow." Meat informed us and it became official, he had a way with words. "So you've been..."

"Don't go there." Ghost warned, shaking his head and Meat just shrugged before grinning at me with a wink and I smiled back, at least he seemed to have forgiven me for what had happened.

"So... Congratulations?" Archer offered, looking at us both unsure and I nodded.

"Thanks I think, so you're ok with it?"

He shrugged and looked at everyone else who just copied the action. "Sure, why not? As long as I don't see it, I don't care. I'm just jealous you get some action around here, the locals want nothing to do with us."

I chuckled and looked at Ghost again with a soft smile. "Ok, I promise you won't notice any difference."

"Well then, back to the party!" Ozone shouted and the group took up a cheer, Scarecrow starting the music back up. I looked towards base and smirked when seeing Shepherd storming off, unsatisfied with the teams reaction.

Poet walked over and nudged my arm so I smiled at him. "Thanks man, you really helped me out there."

"Ah, no worries. I could see by your face that wasn't how you wanted it to go down. You shouldn't have worried though, you're one of us so it's not like we were going to push you away because of it." He handed me another beer and slapped my shoulder. "Just keep the contact private, I don't need to see no kissing or anything else."

I laughed, taking the drink gratefully. "Trust me, you won't even notice the difference."

"Hey Roach!" Ozone called and we both looked at him. "Because you and Ghost are in a _relationship_, does that mean we can't beat you up now?"

"And why would you want to do that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Because you left us man!"

I snorted, rolling my eyes but smiled anyway. "I don't think Ghost gives a shit either way."

"Good, because you need a good ass whooping after what happened!"

"I look forward to it." I muttered the words but Poet heard and laughed before joining the others as Ghost walked over to me. "What is it?"

"Can we talk?" He asked quietly, almost hesitantly and I nodded, following him inside base and frowned as he led us to my room. I unlocked the door and followed him in.

"So what did you want to talk about?" I asked, leaning against the desk as he stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.

"Well… you see…" He paused with a heavy sigh and shook his head with a soft chuckle. "God, what the hell am I doing?"

I frowned, walking towards him and took his shade off, placing them on the side carefully before dipping my fingers under his mask to pull it off. Ghost looked at me, an odd expression on his face, he looked terrified. "What's wrong?" I whispered, tracing the side of his face. "Simon, whatever it is, you can tell me."

He relaxed at the call of his name and exhaled slowly, giving me a quick smile. "Alright…" My eyes widened in shock when he got down on one knee, pulling a box from his back pocket. "Marry me?"

Whatever I was expecting, it sure as hell wasn't that and I just stood there, looking at Simon in utter shock. After a few moments he coughed pointedly and shifted slightly. "An answer would be good Gary." He half joked, half pleaded with me.

"You're off your nut." I told him and he sighed, standing up and went to put the box away and it was then I realised what I said must seem like. "No, no I'm not saying no."

"So what are you saying?"

I smiled, moving forward to cover his hand with my own and nodded. "Of course I'll marry you, idiot. But the likelihood is it won't last long, not with our life span anyway."

He grinned back and lent forward to kiss me. "Mmm, I know what you mean. Between getting our asses shot at, at least twice a week and your death wish, I'll be lucky to keep you for a year." He kissed me again before pulling his hand free to open the box and I saw it contained two silver rings.

I held out my hand and winked at him. He just scoffed and slid one onto my ring finger before handing me the other and I read the inscription on the inside. "Roach?"

He shrugged. "Yours says Ghost."

"And here was me thinking you weren't a romantic." I joked, sliding the ring onto his finger before grinning at him. "Hell I didn't even think you'd want to get married."

"Guess you changed my mind. I honestly didn't think I'd ever have a serious relationship until you came along and screwed things up."

"So romantic." I sighed, placing a hand over my heart before grinning. "So… do you want to go back out to the party, or stay in here and do some celebrating of our own?" I asked, sitting down on the bed to look at him coyly.

Simon rolled his eyes, walking over to me and sat down, quickly pushing me back to lean over me. "I vote for the latter." He murmured against my lips before kissing me again. After a few moments he pulled back and smiled softly at me, gently tracing his thumb over my cheek. "I love you." He spoke the words softly and I'd never believed him more than I did now and couldn't help but grin back.

"I love you too."

He smiled back, leaning down to kiss me again.

Of course, our blissful solitude didn't last long as the comms rang out sharply after a few hours. "New mission, briefing room, ten minutes." Soap spoke out in broken fragments. Apparently our captain had too much to drink and was now suffering the consequences.

I groaned, untangling myself from Simon's body and stood up to stretch. I paused when I felt his eyes on me and turned to him with a raised eyebrow. "What? See something you like?"

"Nah, not really."

"Bastard." I laughed, throwing his clothes at him before changing myself.

"Ouch, careful or I might start thinking you don't love me." He teased, wrapping his arms around my waist to pull me back against his chest. "Can't have that now, can we?"

I snorted, nudging him in the ribs to let go and sighed. "Come on, Soap sounded pissed off, we don't want to get on his bad side by being late."

He shrugged and pulled his jacket back on before grabbing his shades and mask from the table. "Shepherd is probably been on his ass about earlier, so I can't imagine he's in much of a good mood." He pulled his mask on and slipped his shades into place, becoming Ghost once again and opened the door for me. "At least we don't have to sneak around anymore."

"Well, one good thing came of Shepherd's announcement then." Ghost chuckled, shutting the door and fell in step beside me with practiced ease as we made our way towards the briefing room. "Do you think this will ever change?"

"What?"

"Being dragged out of bed and ungodly hours for missions?"

"Nope, some things never change." He grabbed my hand, giving it a soft squeeze before letting go again. "Us included."

I nodded in agreement and smiled at him as we reached the briefing room. "Now that, I can agree to."


End file.
